Today, my boss got angry at me because my English is better than his. He accused me of trying to steal his management position, and implied that I'll be lucky if I still have a job by the end of the month. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss found out I had applied for a much better paying job. He told me I'd do a better job and make more money there. Then he fired me. FML
Today, I got fired from my job because my boss thinks that me doing everything he says makes me untrustworthy. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML
Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML
Today, at work, a man punched me in the face because he said I took his son's job. He meant both me and his son applied for the same job. He also asked to speak to my boss, because he thinks I "cheated." FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
Today, I was scolded by my boss, all because I can finish most tasks in a quarter of the time it takes him, and he doesn't want to be shown up. FML
Today, my boss threatened to fire me because I'm unproductive, and haven't been doing anything. He doesn't tell me what to do, and expects me to read his mind. When I ask him what he wants me to do, he gets pissed and says that I should already know what to do. FML
Today, my boss told me I may lose my job due to underperformance. I was shocked, as he'd previously mentioned that I was performing well, and that I was safe from the current company wide layoffs. I asked him what I need to improve on. He said that my instant messages to him are sometimes too long. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for leaving on time. After months of management hounding us about our overtime, I get in trouble for doing what I was supposed to do. FML
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Top comments
tywinn 1
At least your English is better!
Futacy 30
Hmm, that's funny. Most mature people are happy when people know how to speak correctly.
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Comments (74)
emeraldisle 30
Sounds like he's just trying to find a reason to fire you.
kimmi41509 10
Your boss sounds like a complete moron. Maybe it would be better if you took his place, Sir Pooplord.
callous 2
You're supposed to make your. Boss look good so he gets a pay raise. You're doing it wrong. YDI.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
You're supposed to end your. sentences with a period in the. end not in the middle of it. You're doing it wrong!
neurodoc 1
Sometimes periods can come unexpectedly. :P
wafey 2
You have to work to approve that u r the best ur manager such a dick
Grimmerie 31
Excuse me, does OP need to tutor you in English?
jetsown08 21
Look on the bright side. You'll never be thumbed down by the grammar Nazis on FML!
anonxa 4
You deserved it -- every dumbass knows not to upstage his boss.
DocBastard 40
So if I'm understanding you correctly, OP should make a few mistakes so his boss doesn't look bad? Is that what you're saying? That's one of the most ridiculous bit of horse shit I've heard in a while.
BatemanFML 0
Where I'm from you get rewarded for out-smarting your boss every once and a while.
GigiMcGee 9
So I guess you suck your boss for your job?
Sharkitaxrscary 12
You should have said with a smile, "No worries! You can do what I did to learn English! Take money from the company account, and invest in Rosetta Stone!" Sounds like this man needs more than language help.
Motherfookers 4
go to your bosses boss and tell him you want his position cuz your English is was moar gooder than hiz (come get me grammar Nazi lol)
THE_A_TEEN 28
Nah, I'll get the Grammar Gestapo. To the Learning Camp we go.
berryblizzard 11
You just can't fix stupid...
GigiMcGee 9
Sort of sad if the higher management is intimidated by smarts.