Today, my allergies are so bad that it's affected the way my voice sounds. It's so bad my mom has taken to calling me Aflac because I sound like the duck in the commercials. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have laryngitis and can’t speak at all. I went to make myself some breakfast and my mom kept asking me questions, to which I replied with nods and head shakes. She said, in a condescending voice, that I need to use my “big girl words” and will keep using her “baby voice” until I do so. FML
Today, I found out about allergies suddenly getting worse out of nowhere when it happened to mine. I can hardly step outside without feeling like hell when I get back home, which was never the case before, and I'm going through allergy medicine like a drug addict (almost). FML
Today, my mom forbade me from taking any allergy medicine, because she is afraid that I'll turn into a meth addict. I have horrible allergies and can barely see or stop sneezing without them. FML
Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML
Today, I have an excruciatingly sore throat due to chronic canker sores around my uvula. Every bite of food I swallow brings tears to my eyes. I had enough of dad calling me a wimp at dinner over it and shoved my food onto his plate. He's now faking allergies to food we've had for years, just to take the piss out of me. FML
Today, seasonal allergies are whooping my ass again. The last time this happened was… only two weeks ago. Even more unfortunately, today also marks the day I discovered that while hot tea does help soothe my poor, inflamed throat, if I drink too much of it without a break, I throw up. FML
Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML
Today, I realized that my mother's voice triggers my misophonia. I don't have the courage to tell her that I literally hate her voice, due to a hearing disorder, because I don't know how to say it without sounding like a douche. FML
Today, after nearly a week of having laryngitis, I was finally able to talk a little again. Then I yelled at my son for leaving his shit all over the living room, strained my throat, and can barely even whisper now. FML
Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML
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Top comments
Kobe1Kenobi 3
Your moms a quack
energizerbunny23 18
That sucks, try getting prescribed something from your doctor.
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Comments (51)
energizerbunny23 18
That sucks, try getting prescribed something from your doctor.
BootheGhost 6
Don't worry, Aflac will give him the money he needs.
cakefete2 31
If not the whole amount, they should be able to give OP a de-duck-tion of the total cost.
incoherentrmblr 22
Idk what's worse, sounding like Gilbert Godfried, the parrot from Alladin, or Ben Stein, Ferris Beuller's day off...
Brilliant66star 17
Feel better soon..!
Kobe1Kenobi 3
Your moms a quack
ktmla 14
Allergies ducking suck. Sorry OP!
cakefete2 31
These puns are starting to leave a fowl taste in my mouth.
megstiel 16
Webbed feet
megstiel 16
I'm sorry I just wanted to feel apart of something.
maxhhh 18
Aren't allergies a quack?
PattonGilette2 18
.
9echo 17
OP should see visit a physician if it's that serious...just hope his doctor isn't a quack!
JMichael 26
At least it's better than sounding like Pee Wee Herman right?
silvercamaro 22
Maybe you could replace the voice of the guy who got fired from Aflac until you get better?
brandoneyez1 25
Hot shower and steam can help clear it up.
Adam5858 17
Good for prank calling.....there is always a positive
DylanHasClass 17
Oh SNAP! For some reason that fml made me laugh hard