Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML
AnnoyedSister tells us more.
Hi everybody! OC here. I guess I didn't put enough details in my FML as I could: So I'll tell you all the WHOLE story. Blake is 17 years old. Yes he is a convict currently on parol. I cannot remember exactly WHAT he did, but I believe it was either Breaking and Entering or he stole a car. I'm not positively sure. Also: I could not get off the eyelash glue with warm water or make up remover because her eyelashes were going inward towards her eye and frankly, my daughter wouldn't stay still long enough for me to even try. To all the commenters who said "Keep an eye on your daughter." Nice pun. But she is twelve years old so I'm pretty sure even if I tried to pay attention she'd say something along the lines of "Go away mom!" Or "What do you want?!" So yeah. Blake also does NOT flirt with my daughter (thank goodness) and they've only met once, when they moved in. The funny thing is, he can't even get her name right. Her name is Violet, but he insists on calling her Veronica. So, no marriage plans yet! Yay!
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
xBethanyC 15
You should tell her that the boys that will only notice her for her looks aren't the kind of boys she should be after.
blake1015 24
Well... This is awkward.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (161)
TheCerealKiller 24
Senpai didn't notice her anyway.
NessaMae 19
She just wanted senpai to notice her...
zoegirl_455 30
Well I'm sure a trip to the ER will get the whole neighborhoods attention
Readoll 13
Put her on birthcontrol, if she going after idiots...
perdix 31
You should have asked her why she did it before you left home. You could have saved a trip to the ER since ex-cons like girls who sport the pirate look. Arrrggghhh!
iamsDaniel 8
Well, I'd keep an eye on her.
coercive_cat 8
well i'm pretty sure that if blake is around the age of 16 he wouldn't go for a 12 year old...
macystar 14
If he doesn't know her age, and she looks older, I wouldn't be surprised. I see girls in middle school who look older than I do.
perdix 31
Now is a perfect opportunity to have that mother-daughter chat about how men really work. Tell her if she wanted Blake's attention, she wouldn't have glued on fake eyelashes -- she should have glued on fake boobs!
Aspireworks 12
What if all the famous FML commenter's are the same person? McPerDoc.
perdix 31
#50, I can assure you, I am just one guy. If you think I'm a team that includes a nasty prick, a fool, a kind, supportive optimist, an incorrigible punster, an absurdist and others, you'd be wrong. They're all parts of me -- see what I'm dealing with all up in here?
ManInTheMachine 20
So...which one of those adjectives described me, exactly?
CallMeWindSock 24
At least she's honest
abbymackenziee 20
It's cute that she has a crush, and although your neighbor is a convict, don't judge him. The kid may be a great guy, just a trouble soul.
almehdi 4
Her neighbor's "convict son" .. she said the son is a convict
glabberfasted 16
Would a neighbor's son not also be a neighbor? He'd have to stay there at least SOME time for the daughter to know who he is.
commandercolbert 6
"dont judge him" smh didnt you read? hes a convict
vdarling 2
Seriously? You went to the ER for eyelash glue? This happens to me regularly. You can wash it off with warm water or simply peel it off. This is one of the reasons medical care and wait times at hospitals is so ******!!
NessaMae 19
This is just my guess, but I believe since they had to take a trip to the ER, she might have mixed up nail glue and eyelash glue perhaps. Since both are in the cosmetic isle.