Today, like every other day, I turn up at work at the security guard's gate to show my ID badge. Except that my brother had stuck a huge "FBI" sticker on it. My co-workers now all call me Mulder. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought a replacement ID after weeks looking for my old one and not finding it. When I got home, my brother said he'd found my ID. FML
Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML
Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML
Today, I was at work when two sheriff's deputies walked in. They asked me my name and when I told them, they asked me to turn around and they cuffed me. They told me I was under arrest for robbery. Turns out I was mistakenly IDed, but now every one at my job thinks I'm an armed robber. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML
Today, I was once again mistaken for an escaped convict. I live near a women's correctional facility and apparently my nursing scrubs look a lot like their prisoners' uniforms. The cop made me late for work. FML
Today, I work the night shift as a security officer. I packed my uniform and my stuff into one large bag and left for work. When I arrived, I realized that I'd left something important at home, so guess what it was? My security pass and it was almost 5 minutes before my shift started. FML
Today, I arrived at work, only to be arrested and accused of stealing over $8000 from my job. Five hours later at the police station, the discovery was made that the actual thief had an employee ID one digit different than mine. He works at another location over 1200 miles away. FML
Today, I was trying to rescue a stray dog and used my work ID to lasso him. I scooped him up and was carrying him to my car when something spooked him and he ran off with my work ID. I eventually found him and traded him a granola bar for my work ID, but not before I reported it missing to my boss. FML
Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML
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Top comments
Eir_fml 1
I agree with all here. Mulder is an awesome nickname.
Timmytwofinger 0
thats just cooool!!!
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Comments (39)
Ninjasaurus18 9
Ok, no. Just no. That should be on MLIA (my life is average) because that's just awesome as ****.
BostonBear 33
thats more funny than a fml
guineagirl 18
Where's scully?
gingerface81 16
I was actually named after the actress who plays Scully and I think that's pretty awesome so be proud Spooky :)
peelmeandsee 8
I'm sorry, how is that not awesome?
hox83_fml 13
fake, this is the copy on french FML !
kirbs19 37
Nice!
fantasyworld 39
That's awesome.
amberdea404 28
That would be pretty cool. You're lucky.
TheLynx_fml 20
I don't see the problem here