Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML
Grand_Cookie tells us more.
Grand_Cookie 21
Haha!! Thanks for the support and funny comments! I am a guy and these people she talks about are women and aren't there for anything violent. A few of them have drug/alcohol problems and the rest like to steal things which are also pretty much the same things my entire family did to get locked up at the same time along with some other stuff I don't feel like listing. The sad part is that some of them seem better then the semi-insane girls I usually end up talking to.
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
Monopoly does that to people. I end up in jail every time too.
Roskosity 22
Wow. Jail birds of a feather...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (73)
Kk_Waylen24 21
Does she want you to get an STD!?
someteenager 13
Sam? Is that you?
Ray_of_midnight 23
I am sorry that so many of your family members have ended up in trouble with the law. However, I can't automatically think badly of someone who's been in prison, because America imprisons a greater percentage of her population than any other country on the planet, and so many people are in jail for nothing worse than wanting to turn their brain off for a while with their intoxicant of choice, which shouldn't be a crime. I like to think I have pretty high standards for my potential SOs, but I don't think having done time would automatically be a deal-breaker for me, depending on what it was that the other person did and what the current circumstances of their life was like.
chuckcloninger 12
You are as dumb as a bucket of rocks. I could punch holes in all of your statements but you're not worth the energy it would take.
pmadNess 16
I concur with Ray. So please, punch those holes. That way the rest of us FMLers can punch holes in your theories by thumbing you down!
morella_xx 29
Ah yes, the "not worth the energy" argument... Better known as the "I'm not intelligent enough to articulate my thoughts to explain why I disagree with you" argument.
miz_kamakazi 11
Run! Run far, and fast!
sarkaar 30
and that's how the 'cookie' crumbled.
NoFlippinWai 24
I had a roomate who wanted to have a party with all of his underage friends and I told him no because if they were caught I would get stuck with the legal hassel (where I live if you are overage and in the vicinity they like to charge you with contributing). He said "It would only be youre first offense, theyd go easy on you." I had a helluva time trying to get him to understand I didnt want a first offense ever and that not everyone gets one. It didnt last long after that. :/
onorexveritas 24
good for you, quick now find someone without a record
plagiarismo 16
If you ask me, I'd say cut your losses and get a new family.
v1kt4r 13
This reads like something out of shameless
about11doctors 1
AH E AH say that you remember AH E AH stealin' in september