Today, I went to Lidl to buy the cheapest jaffa cakes I could. They cost 35p. When I was eating them later on I put the plastic wrapper onto the side. When I'd finished eating my jaffa cakes I went to pick up the wrapper... The dog had eaten it. Cost me a £150 vet bill. Most expensive jaffas I've ever had. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally realized why my 9-week-old puppy was going to the bathroom so much. I went to pick up the food bag and realized she had chewed a hole in the bottom, and eaten half of the bag in the last 4 days. Goodbye 30 pounds of dog food, and 100$ for a vet visit. FML
Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML
Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML
Today, while at my job in a candy store, a boy stuck his hand into the bin, contaminating the candy. As I politely explained that the dad had to purchase the affected candy he refused, yelled, then angrily agreed to buy them. The total cost of the candy with the extra pieces? $1.69. FML
Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML
Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML
Today, after having a hard week, I decided to order a pizza with an expensive milkshake. It slipped out of my hand in front of the lift. It went everywhere. I had nothing on me to clean it up with. Now I’m milkshakeless, down £5, and accidentally responsible for littering my accommodation. FML
Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML
Today, I had a hotdog. I thought the skin was a bit tough but ate it anyway. After reading the packaging later I found out that each hotdog has an individual plastic wrapper. I ate plastic. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
joshizzle3 1
Most foreign FML i've ever read
picturetaker 0
Wtf is a Jaffa?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (198)
mzukas 0
.... dang Rover, the Vet says Yer gonna DIE !
patrickhb 0
Americans, it's understandable that you haven't heard of Lidl. It's forgivable that you haven't heard of Jaffa Cakes. But not recognising Pound Stirling is just plain ignorant. One of the largest currencies from one of the largest economies in the world - not to mention the US' closest ally - should definitely be familiar. Strange that on an FML from someone who lost $100, you get no complaints or queries. 'synacious', thanks - I knew there must be at least one reasonable American. LU Pims are similar-ish, if you susbstitute the lemon mousse stuff with orange jelly, and switch that chocolate for something a lot tastier.
anniebananie 3
I certainly agree with you, but at the same time, do you realize that the US covers over 9,000,000 sq. miles, while the UK is over 200,000? That means that the US had much more room in which to keep dumb people. Generally, the states on our east and west coasts are densely populated and have higher median incomes and greater amounts of college graduates. The middle is where we keep our dumb people. (Source: http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/departments/elearning/?article=mosteducatedstates). So while I understand that some of my countrymen are rather ignorant, I promise that most of us are not! It's just that we have a greater sheer number of dumb people than many other developed countries.
null_fml 11
No way man. Canada is the US' closest ally. Our borders are, like, almost literally touching.
Muchomastrbation 0
Yay! I'm an American who moved to England! I must be one of the smartest and least ignorant American. lol
visage 0
Ummm, I guess this is an FML. No clue what a Jaffa cake is tho.
_sophieee 0
these little beauties are jaffa cakes. http://www.irelandclick.com/blog/food_and_drink/uploaded_images/jaffa-cakes-771190.jpg
skyeyez9 25
i never had a jaffa cake before but they sound yummy.
indiana_gal 0
i don't get it! wats p? and wats that fancy e or f thang!?
Kervik 0
Currency. *rolls eyes*
anniebananie 3
See, #47, this is a prime example of what I was talking about. Indiana is the 6th 'dumbest' state, with only 21% of its population holding bachelor degrees. Clearly, indiana_girl is not one of those people.
lives_ppl 0
Seeing how ignorant so many people in one of the most developed countries in the world can be is just really saddening... Have you noticed that a higher percentage of people in developing countries are aware of the outside world than in America?
Amkii 0
:( You embarrass me... you just gave our state an even WORSE image.
girlygirl666 0
Hahaha I agree!
Jemi9OD 0
some of you confused people need to either read comments or learn to Google. Srsly. there have been very thorough explanations at least three times IN THESE COMMENTS.
epicwinmaster 0
lol kidding. fyl that u have a dog that eats anything that has had food on it. youd better watch out that he doesnt eat you
zack767 0
put ur hand down it's throat and get the the wrapper if he wasn't choking or anything it would just shit it out
Mikaylatte 0
So americans are ignorant because we dont know what one little dessert that is popular over in britain is?? Well i had no idea what a jaffa cake was until i read the comments. Im sure you wouldnt know what a popular dish in like spain was. Some people cant know every little thing about the world but they are still trying to learn. Anyways it is really unfair to call americans ignorant because of this.
Kervik 0
I believe it is asininity of not knowing the pound sterling that is making us British call some Americans ignorant.
rwhip923 0
They sell jaffa cakes in the US at regular supermarket chains (including Acme and Harris Teeter on the east coast). People are just too stupid to look.