Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I spent five minutes shaking a bowl of Jello because it looked cool. FML
Today, I just finished having dinner with my boyfriend, so I leaned over to him and said seductively, "How about some dessert?" Obviously, he didn't catch my tone, because he then looked at me and said, "Babe, you really don't need it." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
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Top comments
LinkToEverything 0
the average jelllo has more brain cells then this moron...
itsfuntobesexy 0
I'd be pissed. Of course, any guy I'd ever date would know better than to comment on a girl's weight. That's just common sense.
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Comments (57)
CherryBomb17 0
if he thinks it's okay to say that kind of stuff, why are you still with him? i think this may reflect a little more on you than you think....
eschulz 0
may b he meant ur chest is jiggly?
AdamGD 0
He was probably talking about your nice squishy boobs! :D Was he looking at your stomach, chest, or food when he said it? If he was staring at your stomach or your food, he meant you're fat ( probably joking, dont b too mad at him) If he was staring at your boobs, he was mentally undressing you and mentalling ******* you. In which case he did not think about what he said and you should be happy that you are hot enough to get him to have mental sex with you! :)
notsocrafty 0
the bigger the cushion, the better the pushn' /obvious spinal tap reference
dangletsbang21 0
whadda jerkkk.
CodySmith 0
I thought it was funny.
xSkullzx 0
Lol in the guys defense he was trying to be funny, and failed horribly. lol but seriously, if you take offense to that, then you honestly must be a BIG girl. If you werent you woulda shrugged it off and laughed, maybe even tell him it hurt your feelings.
gagalooooo 0
that's not even funny, get rid of him!
livelifetotheful_fml 0
bahahaha (:
bballer55 0
some1 call 911 cuz OP just got burned! lol