Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, I was walking through a rich part of the city and saw 2 dollars on the ground. I didn't pick it so people wouldn't think I was poor. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML
Today, a woman came up to my cash register, where I was struggling with the cash, and asked if we took cash. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML
Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML
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Top comments
CammyGal 26
And this problem couldn't be fixed with a simple explanation?
cmayer 20
I don't know how people can be so presumptuous.
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Comments (110)
simoncat 11
No good deed goes unpunished, huh?
missdodd 6
women these days...
SystemofaBlink41 27
Being a hooker does, though...
mkcherry 14
I think i would have just kept the money at that point
Zebediabolical 45
Did it work?
fluffycatsdad 33
There's no point trying to be a good person any more. Hope you enjoyed spending the money!
Drifting 21
Bonus cash I guess, at least you tried to do what's right!
perdix 31
It wasn't enough? You should have thrown in some of your own money to purchase at least a little rub n' tug.
TogeBara 12
If she was rude about it the best come back would have been: "Like I'd pay to sleep with you" or something like that. Then just keep the money.
amifaiyaz 12
You could just, you know, have told her the mistake in a single sentence.