Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML
Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
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Top comments
doomking10 0
Here's a tip: Stop being stupid.
chocolaterabbit 0
how else was he meant to show you that your fly was down? you should've tried to understand what he was doing before you call him lewd.
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Comments (43)
cheesecakes 0
rofl
SimpleSimon 0
YDI for not dressing properly in the first place =P
coopcas 0
@13, The fly on my pants goes down randomly. And since when is crudely gesturing to your crotch not "sick"? Sounds perverted to me. Everyone who said YDI, come out from under the rock you've been living in. How would you feel if a security guard smacked your ass, etc? Oh, no, 'cause if someone posted a story about that, you'd all claim it was a compliment. ******* sexist cūnts.
IDoNotHaveAIDS 0
"And since when is crudely gesturing to your crotch not "sick"? Sounds perverted to me." America, eh? You make yourself sound like a douche assuming shit like we'd take a smack on the ass a compliment. (By the way, how is it not? Perverted, maybe, but and undesirable ass does not get smacked.)
unluckydavid 0
He was trying to tell him/her his/her fly was open, it wasn't anything perverted
dyld921 2
Girls have a fly? I'm pretty sure this is a guy.
ejp916 0
#15 , girls wear jeans so yes they have flys.
bexox 0
Someone's never made it to 3rd base! Or we're getting a time-warped post from the 1910s. :0
pingpongpickle 8
lol ^ skirts have zippers too, retards!!
Sappho_fml 0
Why didn't he just say it? I'd be a little weirded out too if some guy I didn't know looked at me and started pointing at his crotch.
ohmyerica 0
:X
mcsnelly 5
Exactly! If some random person was just gesturing to his crotch, I'm pretty sure my fly being down wouldn't be the first thing I thought of! If the OP had wayyyy overreacted and started screaming and/or beating up the security guard, then I'd say YDI just for overreacting. But this is DEFINITELY an FML about the misunderstanding.
mobius8 0
Don't really know why so many people think this is a YDI. Lewd gestures at your crotch is hardly a universal signal for someones fly being open. FYL, depending on how obvious you were about being outraged.
Reena03 0
lol, well that sucks to be you, but that security guard is stupid
malcolm1919 0
Top three worst people ever: Hitler, the OP, Stalin
fivealive143 0
out of all the people and things at an airport.. WHY WAS HE LOOKING AT YOUR ZIPPER DOWN THERE?! haha
TheTragicReturn 0
The guard should have whispered to the author instead of making THOSE kinds of gestures. FYL.