Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
Today, I went on a date with an amazing girl. The date was going well, until she started eating. Although her mouth was closed the entire time, she somehow still made the loudest, most disgusting chewing noises I’ve ever heard. I felt bad about dumping her over that, but I just couldn’t continue. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy. I looked at the menu and yelled, "Who puts caramel on onions? EW!" I then learned that "caramelized onion" is not caramel covered onions. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML
Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML
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Top comments
FalconCrunch 4
Did you tell him to suck on your udders?
hopelessteej 8
aw! and who said romance was dead?!
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Comments (112)
kalenedog 11
i do that too! sorry op what a mean guy...
ENFJ82 5
What an asshole!
Pervimp 4
You should've said "Well you chew like a dairy farmer!"
LycaniaGarou 16
There's actually a thing called misophonia where repetitive sounds such as chewing cause intense rage or irritation. I got it and must say chewing gum is atrocious. So maybe he was in a similar situation
crammer1 6
I have it too. If I could outlaw gum I would. Yuck!
Hobbit79 10
Meh. Still a better love story than twilight .
JenniferFuria 0
He sounds like a jerk.
LyraAlluse 25
And this is why, friends and neighbors, you should always chew with your mouth closed.
LyraAlluse 25
I of course mean this as a general warning, not really in response to the post. Her date was straight up rude.
lillycronks 4
I just died.
theknozzle 14
Some people are just born to be single.