Today, I was making my bed, which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Today, I went to sit on my bed in the pitch black and I somehow completely misjudged where I was standing in the room, so I missed the bed entirely and sat down on thin air. With nothing to stop me falling, I landed full bore on my ass and felt my coccyx snap. FML
Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML
Today, as I was trying to get out of bed, my foot began sliding across the floor. I instinctively tried to balance myself, only for the new angle to cause my right hip to painfully and loudly dislocate, making me fall face-forward into my dresser. Back stuck in bed after three days of freedom. FML
Today, while trying to pull a nail out of some wood with a crowbar in my theatre class, my girlfriend, who was holding down the wood with her foot, thought it would be funny to move her foot and make me lose my balance. Instead, the crowbar flew up and struck me in the nuts. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML
Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML
Today, after going to the bathroom I went to bed. I have a very sturdy bookshelf that sticks halfway to the right of the door as I enter my bedroom. I had dumbly turned off the lights as I didn't want to bother with them before bed. I ended up kneeing the bookshelf, hard, now I'm wide awake and in pain. FML
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Top comments
Action_Bastard 0
Oh man...pancaking a nut is the worst.
MetalFish 0
dude..... you gotta be careful with those! they aren't like teeth you know, they don't grow back! you only get one set of nuts!
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Comments (138)
Chsvet2006 3
I like dressing up in ass-less spandex and getting rogered up the bum by bearded men named Richard. But on a relevant note: FYL, dear sir.
lib_lb 5
these are one of the few times I'm fully thankful to be a woman.
_NJSchreck_ 4
That really sucks man, I can feel your pain... Literally
Kazze 31
So, let me say something real quick. First, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH GOD THE MENTAL PICTURE And second, I hope you didn't hear a "pop."
ihateveryone21 10
Oooooh hell naw man I'm SOOO sorryy. I can't even take 0.01% of my body weight on my nuts I would die
TheKingOfHearts 19
Owch! At least you have 3 left.
Tytonic 16
I once had to go to the hospital because, while playing football in gym class, I fell and crushed them between my legs. I have nightmares to this very day.
Wintermelons 19
Ouch... sterilized