Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML
Today, after my bosses excitedly told me I'm getting promoted to customer service at our grocery store, a customer called me an idiot in the parking lot for accidentally backing into the shopping cart she left in my blind spot. So it begins… FML
Today, I lost my keys while at the supermarket. I franticly back-tracked through the store, asking everyone I saw along the way. They eventually showed up, right where I left them... in my unattended car, the engine still running. There was an announcement made over the PA system. FML
Today, at the supermarket, I ignored the "Riding on trolleys down the ramp is strictly prohibited" sign. While going full speed down the ramp, my trolley with $200 worth of groceries in it tipped and crashed. Luckily, I broke its fall. FML
Today, I got into my car in the parking lot, or at least I thought I did. I sat down, buckled up, and only noticed something was off when a guy walked over from the shopping trolley carousel, opened the passenger door and said, “Can I help you?” Same car model, wrong car. FML
Today, I walked out of the grocery store, loaded my bags into my car, then sat in the driver’s seat. I tried to start the engine, but the key wouldn’t turn. That’s when I noticed the child’s seat in the back, which I don’t have. I was in the wrong car, and the owner was standing outside, laughing at me. FML
Today, I accidentally left the store with a bag full of groceries without paying. I realized this halfway to my car when an employee chased me down, thinking I was a thief. Turns out, I had spaced out and walked out during a fire alarm drill. FML
Today, there was a traffic accident on the highway which I normally take. I couldn't resist laughing at the driver since he was stupid enough to rear-end someone on the highway. What I didn't realize is that I forgot to pay attention to the road and rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML
Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML
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Top comments
lml86 0
Wow, that is awesome! One time a student at my university did the same thing in the parking lot of our library. It was about to roll into another car. They had to announce it repeatedly over the intercom so I'm guessing it didn't end well.
TheCheeseMan 0
Wow how did you manage to do something like that?! YDI.
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Comments (88)
quackaddict 0
Yesterday, my friends tell me about how this exact story. They were at our local Safeway (Eugene) and they hear the intercom announcement. A lady zooms past them yelling "oh sh**t!" How random is that? A few guys pushed the car back into the parking lot with no accidents. go ducks
codesniper1313 0
Well, at least you drive a stick. Kudos for that. :)
brio_fml 0
Driving 101: learn how to operate the vehicle.
sffitz 0
im pretty sure this was true. there was a huge backup on 19th last week. sucks
boshans 0
#43, please tell me how a manual car is pointless these days. please, i would really love to know. you get better gas mileage when you drive a stick, you have better control over your car, better performance, list goes on and on. i would never own an automatic car in my life. learn how to really drive a car, anyone can drive an automatic, it's not really driving though, you're just turning a wheel, big deal.
compuryan 1
This is why any reputable driving school will instruct you to park in first gear when facing uphill, and reverse when facing downhill. The brake should be a backup only.
mdmdt 0
Hahah I was in the store checking out when that happened! I saw some employees talking amongst themselves about how they had "pushed it back in" and then watched the girl make the announcement. I'm glad your car's okay. I did kind of have a laugh at your expense when I told my boyfriend the story though.
ryanpatrick 0
People keep mentioning San Francisco. I was thinking the one at the Univ of Oregon in Eugene. In either case, you deserve it simply for driving a Subaru...hippie.
Atreyu_Love 0
LMAO Note to self: Before learning to drive, keep in mind that the brakes should ALWAYS be put on before leaving your car.
the_boss_fml 0
yeah, i live in california and there are plenty of safeways, so i don't know what you guys are talking about. and ya FYL