Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a hot guy asked me to meet him at a barbecue restaurant. I reminded him that I was vegan. He replied, "Oh, my bad. Forget it then." and didn't respond to my desperate follow up texts. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML
Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He'd known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML
Today, the guy I liked came over for dinner with some friends. One of them asked him if we were dating, he became so distraught he started to choke on the food I had made, in his haste to tell them that in no uncertain terms, were we together. FML
Today, I saw an attractive, thin woman eating a salad. Trying to be smooth, I approached her and told her that she didn't need to eat so scarcely, because she was beautiful. She promptly gave me a dirty look and informed me that she was a vegetarian. FML
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Top comments
macskapingvin 0
You know, being vegetarian isn't like being gay. They don't only date other vegetarians.
Howljerk 0
Liar liar pants on fire.
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Comments (91)
jro5555 0
You should probably kill yourself for sucking at life so much.
MyyLifeeIssFcked 0
Haha that's funny. I seriously lol'd
itisme_fml 9
YDI for trying to be someone you are not. Reminds me of "27 dresses".
homiezz 0
Good One Smarts.
Xxak907xX 0
fail =P
pypercool 0
dumbass
BrassKnucklez69 0
thats what yuhh get for being a dumb liar
milerrrs_xoxo 0
dude I'm a vegetarian and I've met a bunch of other people who are vegetarians and they say they hate it when people try to impress them by saying they're a vegetarian too. not cool man.
DeadxManxWalking 27
Then you can't eat his meat :p
The__Redneck 7
Your second problem was lying. Your third problem was lying when you had a steak right in front of you. Your first problem was wanting to impress a vegetarian in the first place.