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emchocolat Europe

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

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emchocolat_fml 25

Thanks for your comments and highly original puns ! Just to clear the language issue up: "I was burgled" is correct British English (as opposed to American English) and means "Somebody broke into my house and stole things that belonged to me". "Burglarized" is the American synonym. The site said I come from Europe - I do, but it's a big place. I come from England and I live in Mayotte, a French territory in the Indian Ocean.

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Top comments

stevenJB 25

And everything turned to shit

ICastillo 25

I hate when you can't take a shit in peace. You should have yelled to him to come back later when you were done.

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Comments (144)

xSalashawty 30

You could of just, y'know, shit your pants and wash them later instead of letting people burgle you...sounds gross, but i'd rather clean horrible shitstains than be robbed.

ben827 10

That's when you get up and piss all over the stealing your shit. They wouldn't expect a thing, so they'd have no time to react before they run away in utter horror and disgust. The 5-10 seconds of shock (after being pissed on randomly by some stranger) is the perfect opportunity for you to get your shit back. You're armed and dangerous.

TipOfTheHat 10

That's shit luck, now is NOT the time to buy a lottery ticket!

RZB 11

Well, shit.

HeyImAmy 20

I would have creeped the shit out of the burglar and been like "I've got eyes everywhere so back away slowly while you still have a chance to live" or something like that to show him/her that you have hidden cameras or spies.

maddygirl820 10

You couldn't just get up and get after them?

bodychex 5

Wasn't the stall door locked? What did you just take the guys word that he had a gun? I'm assuming you don't have x-ray vision.

Pwuj 6

That must've been a diarrhea situation,.

upsidedownn 8

Sorry, OP. The burglar must have just watched the movie Serious Moonlight. Similar thing happens. :p

z_lite 6

While on the toilet? This would mean you either left your stuff outside the stall, or you sat like a dumbass on the toilet watching as someone burgled/burglarized your stuff. Stupid either way.

SillyGirl4602 23

She could have been at home and they robbed her while she was in the bathroom.