Today, I was bitched out at 2 a.m. by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML
Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I tried to climb out of my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "great" escape. FML
Today, my stepmom accused me of creeping around, acting sneaky, and maybe even planning to kill her in her sleep because I’m "still angry at my dad divorcing my mom and marrying her." All I did was get up at 2 a.m. for a pee at coincidentally the same time as she was going outside for a cigarette. FML
Today, I tried to sneakily leave my boyfriend's house at 3 a.m. without his parents knowing. I had a flat tire. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML
Today, I slipped out my bedroom window at night in an attempt to rebel against my parents. Then I realized that I have no friends and nowhere to go, so I tried to climb back in. I fell, broke my ankle, and laid in the dirt until my parents found me in the morning. FML
Today, I got up at 2 AM to grab a snack. I quietly crept down the stairs, only to find my dad, mom, and a couple of their friends having a secret poker game. Now they think I have a sleepwalking problem. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, I got yelled at for staying in my room too long; got yelled at for going out of my room; got yelled at for staying at a friend's place. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
piedpiper303 29
Well I guess you could say that's a.... *gets shot*
Elric97 9
Next time walk out of your room in a normal way and yell "I'm taking a poop!"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (52)
1tsmenoah 20
That's such a shitty situation.
1tsmenoah 20
Nobody thinks I'm punny?
minesbiggerr 25
No
annie_nk 23
That pun is literally on every single FML that involves anything about poo/toilets. To say it's overused in an understatement.
1tsmenoah 20
First pun comment. You win some you lose some
stargirl_95 24
It's well known that that particular pun is the most hated and overused pun on this website. You're either new here or you haven't been paying attention.
dachayke 16
Are you sure it's more hated than making a pussy joke on an FML with a cat?
applebramble 22
Hmm some pussy jokes don't get old , especially when it keeps you thinking whether people are talking about cats or genitals . Perfect mind game . Where shit is just shit and it has become very annoying, and old...
Ghost308 11
Next time slam doors and run to the bathroom screaming " I only have to use the bathroom, go back to bed"!!
worldclassrager 41
To sneak out you do out of your room not through the house...they should know that...
sandyclaus 15
Sorry, not buying it. Sounds like you've used that excuse before, and they weren't letting you get away with it again. Who has to SNEAK to the bathroom anyway?
smokecloud_ 37
Maybe OP was being quiet to try not to disturb his/her parent's sleep? Parents mistake being quiet for being sneaky, boom. FML.
w_pony_4ever 15
Haha! That's something my parents do except, I just run past them screaming "pee pee pee pee!" It seems to clear things up :)
Bilbo_Swaggins 5
That sounds like a shitty situa... just kidding.
1tsmenoah 20
Trying to steal my pun huh?
empbob 20
Don't worry, it wasn't any better the 2nd time...
glabberfasted 16
28 - I know you're new and all, what with your 6 comments, but this is about the 700th time that pun had been used on FML. It's absolutely and ridiculously annoying.
sunnyray812 42
I know that feeling. I got scolded for getting a drink of water during the night when I lived at my dad's. It's not right.
TXFernwoods 26
Well if you have snuck out before (or recently) then you really can't blame them.
Rababco 29
What kind of parents freak out when there kid has to use the bathroom? Those are some overbearing parents. Besides, if you want to sneak out of house, you climb out of your bedroom window ;P. I've seen enough teenage shows/movies, I know how sneaking works.
Spinofanatic 5
Ah, but what if OP lives on the second floor and there's no tree outside?
TXFernwoods 26
No tree? No problem! Tie a bunch of sheets and clothes together and use a cloth rope and climb out the window. Duh.
LowExpectations 30
Haha, when I was a kid I simply jumped down from the second floor onto my lawn for my late night excursions. You just got to roll with it when you land, no harm done.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
Huh, I always assumed every teenager in America had a tree outside their window. You learn something new every day. If they showed jumping from the bedroom window on a film, there would soon be a lot of parents moaning when their kids break arms or legs due to a poor landing.
Shadowsofthedead 10
Next time you need to make a movement, do it the legally correct way and declare said movement to the committee for approval.