Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML
Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML
Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML
Today, I fell asleep at my desk. It's bad enough that it was for 45 minutes and that I was snoring. What makes it worse? My boss woke me up. FML
Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML
Today, a patient, who is normally pretty chill, was being quite difficult for my workmates. They were whinging about him and I defended him, he's normally a sweet guy so something must be upsetting him. I went to chat with him, he punched me and called a useless a**hole. FML
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
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Top comments
Earths_Venus 25
Welcome to Management.
712sash 26
Sounds like you're stressed. You should try some thing to chill a little :)
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Comments (56)
DocDrose 20
sounds like you need to take some time to relax
tompou6 19
I think it's time to get a punching bag and stick a picture on it or a dart board, both work quite well.
farmboy555 7
Angry-management
Ubehage 32
Now, why would you hit an employee? That is just primitive... YDI!
vikky538 29
dreams for good...it releases your tension...
PurelyCanadian 18
Subliminal messages? I hope you don't conciously deal with his work ethic that way!
christian_slate 16
This seems more like a oh-no-look-at-me Facebook staus update than an FML post.
MistyDaySupreme 6
So you're at the 'Hate you to death' or well, dream phase. Haha, I remember having to go through that, with my manager from hell/co-workers who could barely even remotely do the job correctly. Yet ANYTHING went wrong, I myself was blamed for it. Total bull. Good luck, OP.
CrazyMelvin 14
At least it was only a dream
MatsumotoMania 13
Today, my supervisor beat me up and called me useless. Right before I burst into tears, a powerful punch woke me up, and I realized my girlfriend was hitting me in my sleep. My alarm goes off in three minutes. FML.