Today, I’ve been up since 5am getting everything ready for the beach. This is the first nice weekend we’ve had this season. I have a dressed toddler asleep on the couch and grown ass man that refuses to get out of bed. Today it’s 80 degrees. Next weekend is 50 degrees. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML
Today, on my first day off in months, my stepdad woke me up at the buttcrack of dawn, screaming at me to “get my lazy ass up” and start doing some chores. I guess pretending to still be asleep didn’t make him to go away, because I then felt hot water seeping through the blankets and onto my legs. FML
Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML
Today, I was told to be at a job site bright and early. I woke up and pounded several body smashing drinks to get going. They then called to tell me work was canceled due to weather. It's 6am. I can’t get back to sleep. FML
Today, I felt so unwell that I didn't fall asleep until 4 AM. The baby woke up at 5, ready to start the day. FML
Today, I was looking forward to languishing on the beach for a few days of a “much needed vacation” when I literally got called back into work on my way to the beach. FML
Today, I'm so lazy, I dread getting up early on days that haven't arrived yet. For stuff I actually like doing, too. FML
Today, I thought I would take my family to the beach for the day. My wife is sitting on the front porch, not talking to me, because after working a 60-hour week, I would rather enjoy my family and the fruits of my labor, rather than help her clean the house that she has spent all week at, doing nothing. FML
Today, I checked my local weather forecast. The highs are supposed to be 85-94°F (29-35°C) for 9 of the next 10 days. It's been 95-102°F (35-39°C) for the past week. I have no air conditioning. I'm so tired of this heat! Fuck climate change! FML
Today, I woke up to see my neighbor's 5-year-old daughter next to me. She said good morning and handed me a note from her dad saying that I owe him and he's cashing in. So, I'm babysitting as her parents escape to the Bahamas for two weeks. My annual two week vacation starts today too. FML
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Top comments
acmariner99 25
Simple solution, go alone!
Chazzster 32
If the trip to the beach today was actually agreed on by both partners yesterday then it’s a problem with OP’s husband. If this expedition was not agreed to by both partners then OP needs to chill out and remember that it’s still very early in the year and other opportunities will come up when both want to go. I will also say that there are times when a few extra hours of sleep can feel better than anything else in the world. Given that this is Saturday, if OP’s husband had an especially fatiguing week or missed sleep then I would say just let him sleep in today. I strongly believe that both partners should have an equal say in a relationship. But sometimes their needs get out of sync - One might be tired and the other might want to be around people or get outside. That sounds the case in this instance.
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Comments (22)
Canadian0622 17
If they don’t want to participate, go enjoy the sunshine and the beach by yourself! ☀️
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
take the baby and go!
T1A2Z3 35
Why are you treating your husband like a child? If he wants to stay in bed leave him alone. Life doesn't revolve around you. You sound incredibly self centered
voncrane 23
IKR.. Wonder how she'd feel if it was her getting much needed zzzzzs. Anyways, need more info on this as it could be that it's a couple hours drive and they have other activities planned. IMO, waking up at 5am is not the way I would start a leisurely day.
chosha_fml 27
I think it’s really nice that you got up early, got everything including the toddler ready, and kindly let your husband sleep in. Sorry he then lazed about longer instead of getting out of bed to go.
Traci M 5
☹
Davros 12
Pour water on the kid and stick your finger in your boyfriends ass. Let me me know if that doesn't work, I have more ideas.
saffy66 34
OP said she was up since 5, but what time was it when she wrote the FML? If it was still early and she had been making noise and disturbing the household, no wonder the child and husband are sleeping.
Jake F Thomas 14
Take the toddler leave the “man”
Hangryko 32
Go to the beach by yourself. Plan for a family outing more in advance next time.
wrenavery90 12
Throw the kid in the car and go. Leave your lazy ass husband home.