Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I noticed the balcony door was open. As I went to go close it, I swear I saw my cat wondering outside and I panicked. Long story short, I locked myself out searching for the cat and the next thing I knew, he was meowing at me from the balcony a few feet above me. FML
Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML
Today, my cat followed me into the bathroom. While I was showering, he knocked over the storage shelf behind the toilet. The shelf was the perfect length to wedge the shower door completely closed. No one was home so I had to climb over my tall shower door all slippery and naked. FML
Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I jumped when, after being home alone for days, I suddenly saw the door handle move. Apparently, the cats weren't happy about being locked out of the kitchen and were pretty close to figuring things out. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, I heard the sound of footsteps in the basement. Thinking it was burglars I grabbed a baseball bat and hurried down the stairs. I then tripped on the stairs, fell down them and smacked my head on the bat. The sound of footsteps I heard? It was my cat playing in some cardboard boxes. FML
Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML
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Top comments
Joshery 14
Maybe it ran upstairs before you saw it in the bedroom
MzZombicidal 36
Only valid action is to hide under the sheets. Nothing can get you there. :P But seriously, I'd call the cops. You can never be too careful!
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Comments (103)
xluciferx666 21
Time to hop on the nope train and peace the hell out of that place cause next thing you know you are getting eaten by ghost children
stephypop 13
Sinister?
False_Stupidity 42
The real question here is, aside from the cat, do you live alone or are there others in the house? If there are others then it's just creepy, if your alone then it's just spooky. Or you have a ninja level spy cat who was pretending to be asleep on your bed.
FrankHotpants 31
Don't rule the cat out just yet, those things are sneaky
Danielle_2598 9
Get the hell outta there
tylerjay1013 9
So the only possible thing to do is get on my phone and post this to fml. Right
Sista92359 24
Indian burial grounds? :D
aedar 16
Ok now we need to know if you live with anybody (family, housemates,...) or if you live alone. If you truly live alone I have only one thing to say: "Run *input name*, run!!!"
siggy_mcsigx 22
people who read use it.
awkotaco333 15
Oh hell no. Run. Jk but in all seriousness stay safe, hopefully it was just the cat
Joe561 3
Get a gun and sleep with it