Today, I thought it would be a good idea to take a short cut driving through the snow. I skidded to avoid an oncoming car and ended up in someone's garden, inches from their brand new extension. The house belonged to a police officer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML
Today, I was doing a job for some people on my street cutting their bushes. After I had finished and went to get my pay, I realized I had gone to the wrong house. They called the police. FML
Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for "impeding a police officer." My car was in my driveway. FML
Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML
Today, I backed out of the driveway of our newly built home. Being unfamiliar with the driveway, I ended up getting bogged in the mud and slid halfway down the steep slope of the front yard, trying free myself. I haven't met my neighbours yet. They stood in their front lawns watching me. FML
Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML
Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back, and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML
Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML
Today, driving out of my neighbourhood, I encountered three snow plows heading towards me. I tried to turn around in a stranger's driveway but wasn't fast enough, and they left a wall 4-feet high of ice and snow, blocking me in. I rang the doorbell, borrowed their shovel and dug out their driveway. Its -32 with wind-chill. FML
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Top comments
Sparx1_1 16
Just because women are better at owning their shit does not suddenly make men better drivers. We rarely get snow in Vancouver so when we got a good dump of it last week things were horrible. Yet what did we see? People driving on snow and black ice as if it was the middle of summer time. Men and women get into the same number of accidents but men are more likely to hit and run while women are more likely to report even mild fender benders that do not need reporting. In this case the OP deserves it for taking a short cut. When the weather is bad - slow the **** down and stay on roads you are familiar with.
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
I hate to add to the mindless sexism that consumes FML, but seriously....it seems like every post that involves shitty driving involves a female. just an observation ladies.
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Comments (102)
caleb135 0
idiots like u shouldn't drive in the snow. but btw there's these things called chains u wrap around ur tires that everyone in my neighborhood has for winter.
CloudEnvy 17
OP obviously isn't from your neighbourhood then. Chain wrapped tyres aren't really a common sight here in the United Kingdom.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
I'm guessing your bitch is that it was a cop's house? You were driving in the snow and lost control. Leave the story at that, and save yourself from further incrimination.
dellama10 0
Erm. YDI. next time don't drive into oncoming traffic maybe?
FLCowboy84 0
I love your pj's! soldier here!
hiyouitsme1 0
I can't help but notice you are a female... mystery solved.
iwadasn 33
Being a misogynist doesn't make you funny, just so you know.
blakkfrost 0
You: "Sir, it appears that you have a vehicle parked on your lawn... This practice is against city ordinance. I'm just gonna go ahead and give you a warning this time and move the car for you, but don't let me see this happen again." Citation averted.
ZachMitch1994 0
ydi for not getting the memo that you have to drive slower an slot more careful in the snow and also invest in some snow tires .... if you think o don't know anything trust me when it comes to driving in snow I know I'm Canadian and we have over a foot of snow right now
albinoV 1
What difference does it make that the house you hit was owned by an officer?
ilyfrenchiee 0
lol, i actually didnt find that funny.