Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned how it feels like when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot, landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML
Today, I learned how it feels when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot then landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML
Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML
Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML
Today, I was going out to buy some stuff from the store. As I was leaving, my mom warned me to tie my shoelaces; I told her not to worry about it. As I'm walking down the street, I see my crush walking towards me. As I get closer and say hi, I trip on my shoelaces and face-plant into her chest. FML
Today, after cleaning my mom’s bathroom, I wiped the molding strip along the wall so it was even. A quite precariously-hung potted plant thought that reason enough to fall right on top of me, spreading dirt over the entire room as well as my hair, my sweater, and the inside of my bra. FML
Today, after finally getting over my ex, it felt like it was time to climb back into the dreaded dating pool. I also recognized that I need to get in shape to maximize my chances, so I went running. Half a mile in, I tripped over my own feet, landed face-first in a bush, and had to walk home covered in leaves. FML
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
munchy35 0
well don't wait outside next time? wait until he knocks on your door or something.
justmyluck1212 0
@ least u smelled gr8
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (81)
RhymePrime 7
Why would you devote ardency to a first date; Why would you trip over a stair if you were arduous with preparations?; Why would manure be in front of your house; Why would you wait outside, when you could really ensure preparation inside? I'm not being insulting but there's too many inconsistencies and fallible factors for this to be authentic.
TakeItEasyPeople 0
one by one: because she really liked him because she was nervous because she really liked him the manure was used in the mothers plants, not on its own she was already prepared, and was just waiting for him to drive up - maybe she didn't have time to clean
inarticulate 0
shiiiiiit. lol seriously.
lol_good_one 0
This comment has been moderated.
tigilly 14
There's no way this is true....happened to land head first into that? Nice try.