Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized the only real accomplishment I've had in my life that I take any pride in is that I've had an FML published. FML
Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML
Today, again I wrote out another FML. Again, I deleted it before posting. Every FML I write would seem like I'm just making stuff up, or would be so obviously me that it would just cause me grief. My life is just an endless stream of weird stuff I can't tell family or friends. FML
Today, after working on my novel for two years, I found out that another book has recently been published with an almost identical plot. I was going to submit it to a publisher in two days. FML
Today, after submitting a 500-word essay to a writing contest, I found out that I lost to someone who wrote 3 sentences. FML
Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML
Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML
Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML
Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML
Today, I checked this site to find out that my previous submission had made it onto the main page. This has been the sole highlight in my life for the past month. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
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Top comments
ImaginaryFoe 1
Who knew you FML mods had a soft spot for whiny failures? It warms my heart really.
ReyEr9412 0
This FML is an oxymoron.
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Comments (166)
Sirin_fml 47
Comma after the "it". You know what, I'm going to just give up on these English lessons >_>
itszfer 0
congrats man! *pats back of the loser wannabe author*
septor82 0
what a loser ha ha ha ha ha ha
rouxvanity 0
I guess today is your lucky day.
XxKeLs3yxX 0
OH EM GEE!! congratulations on publishing a FML ur my rolemodel now!
Monikabug 9
LOL Kelsey. >;] Let's start a fan club. All hail Anonymous (man). :)
KurouTenshi 0
@101 we'll have to pick out matching outfits, and make a secret handshake!! I call dibs on sucking his dick!!
Monikabug 9
Chris!! You always get the best job! >;[ You need to go back to Preschool and learn to share!
KurouTenshi 0
@123 sharing is caring, huh? I smell a threesome ;)
Monikabug 9
Really? What's that smell like? All I smell is Vera Wang's Princess perfume. It is intoxicating. ._.
lizzieislovely 11
CONGRATULATIONS DUDE!
3ph600v 15
The ironing is delicious
ImaginaryFoe 1
Ironing?
SkyWriteReader 0
L-O- FRIKKIN'-L!! Somebody needs to learn English!! This seriously made me crack up!! Ironing? Really?! I love the hot and steamy explanation!! XD
applesmoothiee 2
congratulations. i wish i could get an FML posted on this site
Haberdashery 0
Not to worry! Try self-publishing. That's what I did, and it worked for me.
Haberdashery 0
* irony