Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came out of the closet. I came out on Facebook to spare myself awkward conversations and gossip. I wrote a deeply meaningful status about my partner and my pride in who I was. The only responses were, "Lol", "Hacked", and similar remarks. FML
Today, I came home from work and turned on the computer. I logged onto Facebook and saw I had a bunch of notifications. Turns out, everyone on Facebook knew I was single before I did. FML
Today, I logged onto facebook, and saw that one of my friends had just listed herself as in a relationship. I was happy for her, so I clicked the "like" button. Then I went to her page to see who her new boyfriend was. It was my boyfriend. FML
Today, my friend accidentally left her Facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her Facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML
Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML
Today, on Facebook, I realized I had over 500 friends. I told my one friend and she changed her status to, "How can Dan have over 500 Facebook friends? Nobody even likes him." It got 42 likes and twenty comments that basically said, "Agreed." FML
Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML
Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML
Today, I came out as a lesbian to my friends. They were supportive, save for my one friend, who accused me of copying her by also being a lesbian. FML
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Top comments
babyblueyes 27
That's when you put your "friends" numbers on Craigslist under "men seeking men".
tpm45 25
Hey, at least your friends are accepting. Now you can REALLY come out.
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Comments (83)
JVIarijke 24
It's actually a funny move, except for the part where you are so gay people actually believe it. No reason to unfriend this person or call it a ''friend'', these kind of pranks are funny and happen all the time.
amisenho 11
Neither funny nor cool, dude. My boyfriend had a tough time with his Facebook profile pictures. For some inane reason, people thought he simply "looked" gay in all of his pictures, despite them looking completely normal and, in no way, flamboyant. They had no evidence whatsoever to think he was gay (considering his profile mentions that he's dating a female, and hardly uses Facebook, anyway); in fact, he's been hit on by a few guys who assumed he was gay, just because of how he looks. He was being harassed so much about his pictures (and harassed by so many guys), he ended up taking all of them down just so people would stop mocking his looks. If anything, he may have slightly feminine traits, but, other than that, people have been focusing too much on what he looks like and judging him based on these physical observations. It hurts us both, and it gets really old, really fast.
joran_fml 5
Thank you for not calling it hacked
DocBastard 40
omg ur so dum change ur password lol Edit: Someone "used" my FML account to post that. I would never say such a thing. That being say, you are an idiot. Change your password.
DocBastard 40
That being said* Damn it.
yawateverok 10
wow doc ur getting weirder by the bastard hahaha lol
perdix 31
If you're not actually gay, this could be a great strategy for you. Lots of girls let down their guard with "harmless" gay guys, yet they'd love to "convert" you back to our team. You could probably undergo several "conversions" before the word gets out.
HelloooooNurse 20
Have you been listening to Bloodhound Gang, perdix?
EmmaMK 35
Spin it. Post what really happened and say how you hope "name person" has not upset anyone with his insensitive comments, and how people should be free to find happiness where ever they want etc.
cakefete2 31
I would like to offer you a job at my PR firm. Genius move. You're probably pretty good at chess too,huh?
glitterkuro 18
I hate jokes like these. The most common ones I see are "coming out" and "I'm pregnant". I just don't understand why either of those are meant to be funny. What's so funny about being gay? It just sort of devalues the actual amount of courage it takes for somebody to come out in public. And it's always so sad when people take it seriously and share their own stories, only to be told it was just a joke. I saw one where the Facebook status was "I'm pregnant" and loads of people were sharing really sad stories about how they'd miscarried, or how they'd regretted abortions, only to be told that the whole thing is a joke. I think it's sick, and wouldn't find that funny at all.
ninety 25
What I don't find funny is how people would seriously share miscarriage stories on a pregnancy post they thought was serious. they should have been congratulating her, not trying to scare her or make her feel bad. I don't condone the actions of either party in that one.
glitterkuro 18
It wasn't like their first reaction! Lots of them started off congratulating her and since the original (fake) post stated that she was keeping the baby, some shared their stories about how they'd also had kids young and had never regretted it, and it was in response to the conversation that started from there that somebody said about how she'd recently got pregnant after an initial miscarriage and how wonderful it was after such a sad time. It was a positive message in the way it was told, but it's still very personal information to be sharing in good faith, so I can imagine it would be hurtful to hear that the post was made up.
Wakachulak 22
All I can say to that is: PWNED!
commandercolbert 6
at least they werent talking shit
usernameboycott 5
His friends could have had access to his phone or his computer, and he kept "remember password" on.
thebomb553 5
Perhaps you should look over your recent behavior, might give you some insight to why everyone already thinks this way about you