Today, I had a conversation with the cute girl I like at work for the first time. I told her I worked in the camping department of the store, and we had a long chat about how she heard that the guy who runs that department is a complete dick head. I am the guy who runs that department. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to talk to this coworker I like and ask her out for a coffee next door. She was dismissive, cold and rude, and filed a complaint with HR. FML
Today, I had an epic, two-hour conversation with a brilliant, beautiful future leader of our industry. She's an intern. I'm just some loser horndog of a senior manager in another department. FML
Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML
Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML
Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML
Today, the girl I like asked me to take over her shift at the place we both work at. Being nice, I readily took over. Later, I found out she went on a date with my best friend. He knows I like her. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, I found out that a girl who I really liked at work, who is my manager and with whom I'm friends, and who knows I like her, has been secretly dating someone else who works there for a month, and everyone at work knew except me, because she didn't want to tell me. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
"Oh, you must've misheard them. It's like the telephone game; it probably started as 'that guy /has/ a huge dick' and then the H gradually went away with each telling."
ZombieSlaya115 17
Well if the conversation went well she might change her mind.
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Comments (50)
roaf 13
You have to tell her about that somewhat soon, you can't lie about something like that sadly. Good luck OP
ZombieSlaya115 17
Well if the conversation went well she might change her mind.
Tripartita 45
"Oh, you must've misheard them. It's like the telephone game; it probably started as 'that guy /has/ a huge dick' and then the H gradually went away with each telling."
crudeandrudeguy 29
SpongeBob reference for the win
1991stealth 21
"He was number one!"
RichardPencil 32
"Yeah, he's a complete asshole. It totally sucks to work directly for him. Let's get a drink after work and I'll tell you stories." You'll get laid before she puts two and two together.
coolmike699 26
Posts like this make me wish there was a 'need more details' button. Maybe the OP is a complete ******** and doesn't deserve a second of his crush's time. Or maybe someone's just mad because they got in trouble.
GlennGuagmire 20
Proof her that what she hears from others is wrong and let her start saying good things about u.
Lalala579121 28
Yea yu juzt gota proof dat al da haterz ar rong.
KittieTetaz520 15
Your grammar is atrocious.
GlennGuagmire 20
33 I don't think my grammar is to bad as English is not my first language.
Mmaster116 11
They aren't talking about your grammar bro, read the apply above his; now that, is horrendous.
trucker2 33
Did you happen to refer to yourself in third person ?
philick 4
i mean if other people are calling you a dick head then you probably are a ******** so you ******* deserve it
bahamit 18
Did you know that shoving a tablespoon of ground cinnamon up your ass is the cure that big phama doesn't want you to know about because it cures 99% of all known ailments. You know it's true because I'm someone and I said it. *waits patiently to hear how "well" it works for 11*
deathshead 19
that's amazing man! it cured my constipation!
nykkilynn16 7
Not to be that person, but you can use cinnamon to give yourself reddish highlights. :)
species4872 20
Maybe time to have a good hard look at yourself.
BrotherPhil 35
Not necessarily a bad idea. Is it because somebody resents being expected to actually work, or is there something about his management style that could be improved - maybe even that he is in fact a ********. A long think isn't a bad idea, as long as it doesn't turn into brooding.