Today, I got in line for my flight to visit a friend in England. My mom was there to see me off, and decided to shout "No sex!" while waving, in front of at least a hundred people who will very likely be sharing the transatlantic flight with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML
Today, I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year-oldish daughter. Apparently, they decided to have "The talk." On the plane, right next to me. I heard everything, and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML
Today, while flying home, two little girls started chanting, "We're all going to die." I'm an extremely anxious flyer. FML
Today, my family drove me to the airport. Before they said goodbye, my mom discreetly pulled me to one side and asked if I'd remembered to pack my birth control pills. Unfortunately, my little sister heard, then chased me through the security line, yelling, "YOU'RE ON BIRTH CONTROL?!" FML
Today, I spent the busiest travel day of the year in the busiest airport in the world trapped between the decision to leave the terminal bathroom or shit my pants. Yes, I missed my flight. Sorry, mom. FML
Today, I was supposed to fly home for my dad's funeral, but the woman in the seat next to me was so obese, her bulging flesh left absolutely no way for me to sit in my seat. I complained to the stewardess, who then forced me to leave the plane just for raising my voice in frustration. FML
Today, whilst sat next to a old lady on a flight back to the UK, I exclaimed how I wished somebody would gag the crying baby a few rows behind us. Her reply was, "That's my grandson." FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
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Top comments
Jinxsie 27
So much for joining the Mile High Club. :(
Tthug 34
Who cares? The great thing about flights is you can talk about whatever you want, because it's unlikely you'll ever see any of those people again.
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Comments (59)
Drosophila82 18
Jesus... What's French for xnay
tj4234 36
I don't see what this has to do with the FML but... Ixnay is Pig Latin, it basically means "no". "No", in French, is "ne pas".
greencurtains74 11
Sounds like a funny comment. It shouldn't worry you!
RedPillSucks 33
act like everyone else, pretend you dont know her and look around to see who she's talking to.
duckmeist3r 13
Clearly she gives no f**ks herself.
RAH94 17
That's mother's for you.
Saluton 18
oh yeah, and now you can't look people in the eye because it's so shameful. YDI
vikky538 29
did she tell you its before meal or after meal...
rockwrench 18
Who listens to mom anyway when it comes to sex?
psycho_fuzzball 10
that was a pretty epic thing to do! Go Mom!
timberwolf408 7
To which you reply "That's right Mum! Keep those knees together"!