Today, I got in a huge fight with my pregnant wife because I cannot consent to naming our future daughter Paprika. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
Today, me and my husband are having our first big marital argument. Our baby still doesn’t have a name, all because I want to call her a normal name and he wants to call her some obscure name from an anime he really likes. I’ve never seen him this stubborn about anything this stupid. FML
Today, my wife and I have been in the same massive argument for two weeks. We agreed when we were dating that we couldn’t think of anything worse than having kids, we married on the basis we would never want kids. Now, a year later, she wants a baby. FML
Today, I had to yet again tell my mother-in-law that I wasn't going to name my unborn baby "Ermintrude" after her late mother. My husband told me to stop being difficult, and that he agrees that it would be nice. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML
Today, I admitted to my best friend that I was having second thoughts about getting married and was probably going to break up with him. Unfortunately, my fiance's daughter, who I absolutely adore, overheard the conversation and threw a huge screaming tantrum asking why I didn't want to be her mommy anymore. FML
Today, my wife is blaming me for us having to abort our baby because the amnio showed it would have severe disabilities. I supported her every decision, but apparently me agreeing with her was actually me not wanting to fight harder for our baby to live, hence, it’s all my fault. FML
Today, my wife, the budding environmentalist, who is also 6 months pregnant, threatened to leave me because according to her I'm responsible for the world's deforestation. I'd only drawn her a picture of her with our baby-to-be. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Let me guess. You and your wife are known as Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper. Remember to name your son Cinnamon when the time comes.
BlueBaronBitch 22
Maybe she could have grown up to be one of the Spice Girls
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Comments (98)
chosha_fml 27
Your wife sounds like she grew up vegan in a commune. Or at least that's what your future daughter is going to sound like if your wife gets her way.
Mysterybounty 6
If she can't understand why that is a bad idea she doesn't deserve to be a mother.
youneedtostop 11
just...why?
C8H18 33
Kids get bullied enough without being named things like "Paprika." Please stand your ground for your daughter's sake.
gladow 9
Why settle for paprika? There are so many other spices to choose from.
nicolai44 12
Exactly! What's wrong with Nutmeg? Or Coriander? Horseradish? Perhaps Crackedblackpeppercorn? Oh, I know! Dill! Nothing could ever go wrong with a name like Dill later in life...
Arot6 17
Your daughter will thank you one day.
Suffolk_yourself 8
Could be worse I suppose, could have gone with cumin. Please try and come up with a better name, for the sake of your unborn child
smallandroid 26
Try buying a baby names book. Go through the book with her, cross out names you both don't like and put stars next to the ones you do. Make it a fun experience and hopefully she'll forget all about the unfortunate name. (Note: make sure it's a decent baby names book. I found one that my parents did for me and they circled the name "Ebenezer"... thankfully I dodged that bullet though.)
Agrith 19
White people.
meghanclean 17
Tell her to pick a few names and then y'all can decide once you see the baby and see what names fit her. It'll make your wife really think about the name "paprika".