Barf

Today, I threw up during sex. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

Sexy talk

Today, I got in bed with my guy to have sex with him to distract myself from having diarrhea, when my gut cramped, my butt pushed, and I then doubled over from that as I yelled, "Why must I go doo-day right now?" I don't know what's more embarrassing, that I shit my bed before sex, or I called diarrhea "going doo-dah?" FML

Not now!

Today, my husband and I were just about to have sex. The last few months have been a shitstorm of stress, personal tragedy, financial crises, and family drama. When we finally got a moment to ourselves, I was struck with a literal shitstorm in the form of agonizing diarrhea. It’s been two hours now. FML

Today, I got motion sickness while having sex. FML

Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML

Run!

Today, my girlfriend and I had the day off so we agreed fun by having the "afternoon in". In bed, that is. We got in bed, clothes off, and started to touch each other when she held her gut and yelled, "Oh shit! Oh shit! I have to shit!" She did a poop that came out like a waterfall. Diarrhea ended our fun. FML

Rico Suave

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML

Sick sex, dude

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML

Some people are into that sort of thing

Today, I was having rough sex when I breathed too heavily with a dry throat, and puked on the bed. FML