Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML
Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML
Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML
Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML
Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML
Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML
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Top comments
Tubasaurus 0
I just got this cool think installed at my house. It's probably the best invention ever. It's called a faucet.
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Well, OP said that she put the laxatives into her own water (that the other roommates happened to be taking), so I don't think that would qualify as poisoning. If someone tried to take her to court, she could just say that the water was hers and she could do whatever she wanted with it.
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Comments (58)
BobbyHutchinson 0
thats what you get you passive agressive piece of shit
SunlightVeins 0
rofl. I'm not sure if you understand why this is funny.
IceCream53423 0
wow retard. a lot if laxatives are really bad for ur body.
anjyu22 0
Seeing as you all have to live with each other, perhaps you should find some more constructive way to solve your problems... or at least plan something less likely to backfire.
mohamedrocks 0
Lucky you didn't off that stuff that Peter griffin, stewie and. Brian used that made them throw up like made lol
blastvortex 4
Actually, that is a good strategy. I knew a coworker who did that years back because some bastard kept stealing his lunch, so he brought in brownies that he'd made with loads of laxative. When the thief found out, he (rather stupidly) reported the guy that made the brownies and subsequently got his own stupid, thieving ass fired. On the other hand, if you really want to teach your roomie a lesson, then for everything he steals from you, then swipe something of his of approximately equal value. Maybe then he'll learn his lesson and quit being a deadbeat. Then again, if you haven't made it clear that the room's contents aren't a communal pot, then explain it to him, doofus.
couny343 1
ydi completely
FerrariCake 2
You hoard water? I could understand you being upset if your roommates were drinking your beer... but water?? Seriously?? When the laxatives kick in, just pray you don't crap out your last few functioning brain cells. You sound like one of those chicks whose main diet is water, celery and laxatives anyway.
smackieonassis 0
YDI for so many, many reasons.
failuristic 3
ROFL, they were stealing your /water/? ROFL. I don't know what else to say. "You sound like one of those chicks whose main diet is water, celery and laxatives anyway." ^This, however, kind of works. Kudos, #22 ;D
Mylife_is_so_fd 0
oh my god were's all the water going from in the tap those bastard roomates must be stealing it i knoiw what ill do ill put laxatives in the water supply that way no one can drink our water and ill die of dehydration because there will be no water to rehydrate my when i shit my ******* guts out of my stupid little uptight bitch asshole