Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to dry out because they were sopping wet. When I went to check them later on, they were still wet. And soaked in bird poop. FML
Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML
Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML
Today, I was enjoying my dinner by my patio window when I spotted a cat roaming through my backyard. As I observed it explore my yard, I also watched as it climbed onto, then took a piss on the freshly clean clothes I had left to dry. FML
Today, a bird shit on my jacket whilst smoking, I cleaned it and went back outside, and got shit on again. FML
Today, I washed my clothes in the shared laundry room. All my clothes came out smelling like smoke. FML
Today, I did laundry for the first time in weeks. Feeling productive, I dumped everything in, including what I thought was my pile of towels. Turns out, I washed (and shrunk) my roommate’s $200 wool sweater. She found out when I proudly showed her how “clean” everything looked. FML
Today, I put all my clothes into two piles. One pile had clothes I usually wear, the other clothes I wanted to donate. When I was done, I put the piles into two jumbo trash bags. I came back a bit later and they both were gone. My mom donated both bags. I have no clothes. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
katties 27
I have never thought about this before, but I have hung my clothes outside for years, and birds have actually never pooped on them :/ I'm I the only one?
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Please leave now.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
FMLbutYDI 17
What a shitty situation.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Please leave now.
Ambient25 25
I want to slap his mom for giving birth to him
iAlissa 34
That's a little excessive, Ambient
wootwootimahoot 10
Oh come on! "Shitty situation" It's clever!
Ambient25 25
yea, sorry I had a case of hyperbole
ScenicSubterfuge 39
I thought it was pretty clever:)
doctor_glitter 6
It was clever a couple years ago when it was first introduced.
Fluffydemise 18
I thumbed him down for his username. The comments pretty awful too. This reminds me of something yesterday...
karen1991 15
Ninja birds attack again!
berichsoon 11
More like angry birds
GrammarNazis 6
Good for you for helping the environment, sounds like the birds just didn't get the memo
Ambient25 25
Help the environment? Do you know how much methane the average cow puts out? You'd probably go on a beef binge.
ScenicSubterfuge 39
What did that have to do with anything?-_-
Andrew910 5
memo.****
dakatabg 31
You learned your lesson
oj101 33
Yeah, how dare OP be eco-friendly. The birds were right to do what they did. I hope he learnt his lesson!
katties 27
I have never thought about this before, but I have hung my clothes outside for years, and birds have actually never pooped on them :/ I'm I the only one?
LaColombianita 26
Same here! I still do to this day and it's never happened to me either. And there's a huge tree right above the clothes line. Guess we're just lucky lol.
doodlecloud 27
Same. We've never had or used a dryer...I'm actually not sure I know anyone who uses one...
theycallmekitty 13
I really want to try this now!
mim777 4
lol - all the time - its crap
MiloBear 11
We also have a tree over our clothes line and I don't think we've ever had poop on them. But we have monkeys in our area who sometimes play on the clothes line and make our clothes dirty.
pedinhuh 23
Same here..for like, over 21 years (my mom hunges all the clothes since she got married and started to live with my father)... I think there are some of those high tension wires, where birds likes to hang out and choose their victims, that crosses OP backyard, if that's so, then OP shouldn't have his clothes hunged in the outside in first place! So, no "helping the environment" for him!
Wizardo 34
Kamikaze pigeons these days... jheez.
emeraldisle 30
Seems the birds don't appreciate you trying to help out the environment.
Trigabyte 8
That sucks
Petrichor_fml 7
On behalf of the FML community, I cannot begin to express the gratitude for your mesmerizing comment.
ScenicSubterfuge 39
And your comment was any better? Not saying mine is great, but keep these things to yourself>.
Petrichor_fml 7
This is FML if you're going to Comment at least have the decency to refrain from stating the obvious. Now that doesn't mean a comment must be eloquent just relevant. I could care less if you think i should 'keep it to myself.'
mn_shr 22
Sorry to hear that OP.
Ambient25 25
Unless one of us does something bad and gets away with it, then karma is like "Oh I saw you and I will come hunting!"....