Today, I came home after a long day at work, and decided to tidy up a bit before finally settling down to relax. I went to take the garbage out, when the bag split and out fell the trash along with hundreds of tiny red ants. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML
Today, after a long and exhausting day at work, I had no energy to do much of anything, so with that in mind, I got Arby's on the way home. When I did get home and was trying to carry the bag inside, it ripped open and spilled my food all over the driveway. FML
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML
Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML
Today, I opened my blinds to see the front yard littered with trash. My neighbor's cat ripped our trash bags open and smeared them all over the lawn. Since it was my turn to take out the trash this week, my family decided I would be the one cleaning up too. FML
Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML
Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML
Today, I came home to find that maggots had taken over my garbage can this weekend. We weren't home to catch it, and I didn't use the garbage this morning. On top of that, I hadn't had my caffeine for the day because I ran out and forgot. FML
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
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Top comments
jgmarines 4
Kill them with fire
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Ant that the worst! Don't let it bug you too much.
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Comments (55)
shhhaaarrron 12
Definitely time to kick out tons of water... And clean the trash bin
mac8080 7
Time for the molten iron pore it in the hole then dig it out makes the best art
Arthurie 30
It wasn't iron that they used, it was mercury.
geekchick88 17
It wasn't mercury, which is poisonous...it was aluminum.
ptoka 20
I believe it was aluminum, however feel free to go handling mass amounts of mercury and tell us how that works out.
ptoka 20
And I see I was commenting at the same time as 27... I tip my hat to you.
Arthurie 30
Eh, I read somewhere it was mercury. That's what I get for trusting the internet.
ffffffffck 13
and thats the part where you would see me flip every table within my reach.
worldclassrager 41
I think it's safe to say do not throw anything away that has to do with wood and the outdoors...
awkwardloveannie 28
if it makes you feel any better I think they're having a bad evening too
ampz 2
wow your house must be pretty disgusting
xXBrennanXx 5
burn the house down
lsg3000 6
Don't get mad get "GLAD" trashbags!
thenewgirl29 20
I am OP and I used GLAD. That shit doesn't work. Lol
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Then why aren't your comments highlighted sky blue? (if they do change, won't I look quite the fool! (nope)).
thenewgirl29 20
Not sure. I think I posted as anonymous and it didn't show up under my name.
elmatador615 12
Yikes!!!
pyromaniac_bc 4
Sounds like you should take your trash out more often than once a month
thenewgirl29 20
K thx.