Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at his parents' house when things started getting hot. Out of respect, we stopped and just cuddled, making us able to hear his parents banging. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
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Top comments
lkrunner101 7
Why would u do that with ur dad in the house? Ydi
TheMathMajor 26
I want to know what kind of parents would let their daughter take her boyfriend up to her room and close the door right after they just met him for the first time.
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Comments (151)
Lindwurm_fml 0
I'm glad for being European. What is your problem with having sex there in the US? Having guns from young age is okay, making love isn't? Why should children not have sex at home?
bigcountry243 3
76- first of all children are not responsible enough to be having sex . When an accident happens and the girl gets pregnant then her parents have to help her raise the child , her teenage years are ruined. The father of the baby being a child himself usually runs off , so the child grows up without a dad . What kind of life is that . You are an idiot for thinking that that kind of behavior is acceptable .
josebaseball11 14
She's from Portugal moron.
Lindwurm_fml 0
I was talking about all the stupid Americans telling here how they would control their children's sex life and how disrespectful ******* in parents' house would be.
Lindwurm_fml 0
Well, in societies where people talk openly about sex teenagers know how to protect themselves.
valwojazz 11
Perhaps a way to solve the problem is teach teenagers how to use all the different kinds of birth control out there; as opposed to suppressing that primal urge through abstinence and calling it a "sin". It would make things easier since people are going to have sex wether you tell them it's bad or not.
GotBrains 0
I totally agree, what is the actuall problem? Sure, you don't have to moan so high that everyone can hear, but you wouldn't see someone's parents sneaking outside the bathroom while you take a crap, even if it's a rather loud one.
bubbleslovescats 1
Teen pregnancy is higher in America than in any other country. So therefore it's really bad because it's making America look even worse. (:
daltonromanowski 11
Parents make the rules, period. Every household differs. My parents knew I was sexually active and didn't give much of a shit because they knew I was intelligent enough to be safe and wise about my activity. You're seriously overestimating the intellect of most teenagers - regardless of nation, btw - if you think most of them are mature enough to be ******* around. And in any case, you don't have sex in a home you don't own. That's ******* rude and I'd be surprised if this wasn't the case in whatever country you're from. Further, until a person is legally not considered a dependent of their parents, they are at the mercy of said parents. Children shouldn't be allowed to do whatever the **** they want, because children are dumb, and that's why parents have things called rules. Those rules should be respected.
grannygruber 6
I've been married 25 years and we don't have sex when we have the rare occasion to stay at my parents house. My kids are adults and even tho IDC if they have sex w their SO at our house they don't when they occasionally stay over. It's a matter of respect. A day or two without won't kill anyone!
shaggan 6
I'm Canadian my girl was always on my weed freaky like 5 or more times a day for a year strait I love shaking the block you ever have the cops phoned because you put it in so Dam hard priceless
PlaidPanda 9
Huh?
rammy125 4
Nobody likes it when you fake it. Not even your parents. Shame on you for faking it
snowdust 2
I like your dad! You completely deserve this for having noisy sex with -anybody- else in the house, whether it was your parents or not. I bet you wouldn't like to hear your parents having sex either.
jmacfan1 16
I hear my parents haveing sex every once in a while. Not something I really want to hear and I don't think I'll ever unhear it.
joeymo304 9
What kind of parents do you have?
ktizzley2k 8
72- If she's 21. I'd still check up on them on the first time he's over. If she wants privacy, she can get her own place.
CharliesCool2084 8
How can you feel comfortable having sex while your dad's in the house? Ew.
minionfan 0
Love how your comment totally goes with your profile pic lol.
TachiownsMangu 5
It's sad how your dad knows you're faking.
ZombieMaiden 2
How would your dad know if you're faking....