You need to have a serious talk with him. Him not caring to please you says something (possibly) about how much he cares. Worse comes to worst, don't allow penetration until he gives you one first.
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It's not rocket science, if he tried then he likely could do it. Sounds to me that he doesn't want to try. Unless he has some disability where his fingers and tongue don't work...
Are you one of those guys who expects women to ****** from penetration alone? If you think you have "the gift" it might just be a gift for finding women who are inclined to fake orgasms. It's rare for women to be able to cum from penetration alone, most women need their partner to try- which involves stimulating the ********.
This is why we need better sex ed.
#47, You're also a guy, so that's not saying much. While penetration always works for you (whatever that means) penetration alone doesn't work for most women.
@46 I'm guessing you're saying you somehow "know" your partner(s) always has/have orgasms just from penetration and nothing else. If it's the singular partner in a long-term relationship, I might be able to buy this, but sorry, no, not enough women work like that to be believable. It's like saying EVERY SINGLE girl you ever slept with was a squirter.
As for being able to tell, I'm assuming you mean via involuntary muscle spasms, which--and I'm sorry to destroy the illusion here--are really easy to fake for any woman with decent control of her pelvic floor muscles. So most women who didn't give birth yesterday and aren't over 80.
Trust, I used to have a lot of trouble getting off when I first started having sex, so I'm familiar with faking it.
Mathalamus 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No amount of sexual education will help, if you don't actually want to use your fingers or your tongue. Like me. Nor should they teach how to have good sex. You don't want to encourage it.
And furthermore, every woman is different, ergo, teaching them via general lessons is terrible.
Women may vary in terms of whether we like it fast or slow, hard or gentle, but we're consistent in the location and general shape of our clits (did you know about the internal structure? Most people don't) and we're consistent in that most of us need our clits stimulated in order to ******. Some percentage of the teenagers are going to have sex no matter what you do. What can be controlled to some extent is whether or not they do it safely. The way to reduce teen pregnancy and STIs is by giving them access to birth control and teaching them about it. They also need to be taught about consent, respect for their partner, how to recognize an abusive relationship, all the basic life skills. Where else are they going to learn these things? If they don't learn about sex from reliable sources in school or from their parents, they'll learn from ****, which is inaccurate and downright abusive a lot of the time.
As far as whether or not to teach them about pleasure is concerned, you have to realize that they've all already learned how to pleasure men from the media, so teaching them about female pleasure just balances it out and makes it fair. They deserve to know how their bodies work.
ChopSuey444 20
#66, let me inform you and I pray for the sake of every girl you ever sleep with that you read this, you can absolutely give orgasms with zero use of your fingers or tongue. (Graphic info ahead.)
You should watch more ****. You can take your dick out during sex and give clitoral stimulation with it, and it's fricking incredible. INCREDIBLE, okay? If my husband feels like he's going to get off before me, he'll do this and it only takes like 10 seconds for me to finish, then he can get the rest of his. Works perfectly every single time, and I happen to love it
Don't be so draft as to think you have to use your fingers and tongue. Your penis can do more than stab and thrust.
As far as teaching how to give good sex in schools? No they probably shouldn't. But you also should not go uneducated. Educate yourself and be a good partner.
Worst case scenario, you two could go to couples counseling that covers intimate problems. Because if he's actually questioning why you want an ******, it sounds like he needs some serious education.
So he's just been masturbating with your body this whole time?
I'm strongly against anyone using sex as a tool in a relationship but if you decide to withhold sex from him until he realizes that it should be satisfying for the both of you and not just him; I'll support that decision.
Doesn't sound like you're really against using sex as a tool then, does it?
Mathalamus 25
Bad idea. If I were him, I would just go back to masturbating. For as long as she can hold out. The mature thing to do is talk about it, and come up with a solution that both sides are happy with.
Well, if he doesn't care about pleasing her why should she have sex with him? If she doesn't get enough enjoyment out of it, it could really just be a chore. If he won't even try to give her pleasure, she's better off doing it herself and getting actual enjoyment than just getting him off
Counselling would be a good idea. Even if you're incapable of having an ****** from sex (or having one at all) I don't understand how he can enjoy sex with you when you're not. Even if you don't climax, it should at least be pleasurable and from the post, it certainly doesn't sound like it. I think OP needs to have a good, long talk with their husband.
Top comments
rockaroths 15
You need to talk to him and let him know sex isn't a one way street and isn't all about him but it's also 50% about you
LexiD19 26
You need to have a serious talk with him. Him not caring to please you says something (possibly) about how much he cares. Worse comes to worst, don't allow penetration until he gives you one first.
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Comments (121)
ChristinePi 36
That's quite the assumption about OP.
HereNReady 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Giving orgasms isn't something you try, its just something you do. Maybe he doesn't have the gift.
bapbap_fml 15
It's not rocket science, if he tried then he likely could do it. Sounds to me that he doesn't want to try. Unless he has some disability where his fingers and tongue don't work...
quackImapenguin 16
Are you one of those guys who expects women to ****** from penetration alone? If you think you have "the gift" it might just be a gift for finding women who are inclined to fake orgasms. It's rare for women to be able to cum from penetration alone, most women need their partner to try- which involves stimulating the ********. This is why we need better sex ed.
Elban 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Penetration always works for me and if you're in there you can tell. OP needs the ole "Put out or get out" line if it's truly an FML
iiTzNeeNerz 26
#47, You're also a guy, so that's not saying much. While penetration always works for you (whatever that means) penetration alone doesn't work for most women.
syki 22
@46 I'm guessing you're saying you somehow "know" your partner(s) always has/have orgasms just from penetration and nothing else. If it's the singular partner in a long-term relationship, I might be able to buy this, but sorry, no, not enough women work like that to be believable. It's like saying EVERY SINGLE girl you ever slept with was a squirter. As for being able to tell, I'm assuming you mean via involuntary muscle spasms, which--and I'm sorry to destroy the illusion here--are really easy to fake for any woman with decent control of her pelvic floor muscles. So most women who didn't give birth yesterday and aren't over 80. Trust, I used to have a lot of trouble getting off when I first started having sex, so I'm familiar with faking it.
Mathalamus 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No amount of sexual education will help, if you don't actually want to use your fingers or your tongue. Like me. Nor should they teach how to have good sex. You don't want to encourage it. And furthermore, every woman is different, ergo, teaching them via general lessons is terrible.
quackImapenguin 16
Women may vary in terms of whether we like it fast or slow, hard or gentle, but we're consistent in the location and general shape of our clits (did you know about the internal structure? Most people don't) and we're consistent in that most of us need our clits stimulated in order to ******. Some percentage of the teenagers are going to have sex no matter what you do. What can be controlled to some extent is whether or not they do it safely. The way to reduce teen pregnancy and STIs is by giving them access to birth control and teaching them about it. They also need to be taught about consent, respect for their partner, how to recognize an abusive relationship, all the basic life skills. Where else are they going to learn these things? If they don't learn about sex from reliable sources in school or from their parents, they'll learn from ****, which is inaccurate and downright abusive a lot of the time. As far as whether or not to teach them about pleasure is concerned, you have to realize that they've all already learned how to pleasure men from the media, so teaching them about female pleasure just balances it out and makes it fair. They deserve to know how their bodies work.
ChopSuey444 20
#66, let me inform you and I pray for the sake of every girl you ever sleep with that you read this, you can absolutely give orgasms with zero use of your fingers or tongue. (Graphic info ahead.) You should watch more ****. You can take your dick out during sex and give clitoral stimulation with it, and it's fricking incredible. INCREDIBLE, okay? If my husband feels like he's going to get off before me, he'll do this and it only takes like 10 seconds for me to finish, then he can get the rest of his. Works perfectly every single time, and I happen to love it Don't be so draft as to think you have to use your fingers and tongue. Your penis can do more than stab and thrust. As far as teaching how to give good sex in schools? No they probably shouldn't. But you also should not go uneducated. Educate yourself and be a good partner.
swagler88 6
Once again, this doesn't work for everyone
8Dirty1 24
I"ll volunteer for him;)
deathstroke990 22
don't be that guy
Geckosrock99 33
Would you like a glass of water? You're thirsty af.
stp9782 11
I would
ShaynaMarie322 15
Worst case scenario, you two could go to couples counseling that covers intimate problems. Because if he's actually questioning why you want an ******, it sounds like he needs some serious education.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
So he's just been masturbating with your body this whole time? I'm strongly against anyone using sex as a tool in a relationship but if you decide to withhold sex from him until he realizes that it should be satisfying for the both of you and not just him; I'll support that decision.
allforfun 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Doesn't sound like you're really against using sex as a tool then, does it?
Mathalamus 25
Bad idea. If I were him, I would just go back to masturbating. For as long as she can hold out. The mature thing to do is talk about it, and come up with a solution that both sides are happy with.
DoomedGemini 38
Well, if he doesn't care about pleasing her why should she have sex with him? If she doesn't get enough enjoyment out of it, it could really just be a chore. If he won't even try to give her pleasure, she's better off doing it herself and getting actual enjoyment than just getting him off
tomvertigo 17
I'm glad she got your approval. It was real touch and go there for a moment.
foxy_grampa 19
Give him blue balls a time or two and tell him you aren't concerned about his orgasms either.
KhaleesiDannie 26
Just get a vibrating wonder wand and next time he asks for sex say the same he did
SuicideBoobies88 11
Ummm....so ya don't end up ******* someone else.
elementalblood 26
Counselling would be a good idea. Even if you're incapable of having an ****** from sex (or having one at all) I don't understand how he can enjoy sex with you when you're not. Even if you don't climax, it should at least be pleasurable and from the post, it certainly doesn't sound like it. I think OP needs to have a good, long talk with their husband.
sunflower_seal 17
Yikes .. Sorry OP . Next time he ask for a ******** as him "Um.. why?" Hopefully it was a joke if not maybe consider counseling or a vibrator .