Today, I argued with my girlfriend over her constantly wasting our money on acupuncture. She said if I could prove it was baloney, she would stop. After I showed her copious amounts of scientific proof debunking it as pseudo-science, she told me we're "taking a break" from our relationship. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML
Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being superficial. She said I was superficial because I paid $100 for acne medication, because she always complained about how much acne I had. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML
Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for the night so she could calm down. All I did was suggest her headache might improve with paracetamol and a nap, as opposed to the burning sage stinking up our bedroom and the crystal wand she had pressed against her eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that she always feels like shit, and that she's tried "everything" to feel better. Everything except eating regular healthy meals, exercising, sleeping regularly, drinking water, showering, and changing clothes daily, that is. I pointed this out, and she kicked me out in a rage. FML
Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML
Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML
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Top comments
th4m4ster 6
you can do better
im_not_creative 5
Looks like she didn't get the point.
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Comments (73)
FightingOne 0
First, acupuncture is a real therapy technique used to relax nerves and help in healing processes. Its been used in China for thousands of years. Second, if your fighting with her, then what do you expect? No shit, shes gonna break up with you...
DocBastard 40
Your breakup has nothing to do with acupuncture. It's because you're constantly wasting your money on flowers and gifts for a moron who doesn't give a ****.
Endless_time 4
Your real science was no match for her baloney!
GoW_Chick 15
*sings* He blinded her with science!
noodlesoup2 2
Nobody likes a know it all
clk20may 0
Dude. It really does work!! I didn't believe it would and my mom made me go. Turns out it really did. My mom had an autoimmune disease and after 2 years of acupuncture she is disease free. She didn't even take medicine for it. The doctors estimated that it would get so bad after a year that she wouldn't be able to work anymore. Your research is flawed.
Shrike 24
I dunno how to tell you gently, but it's placebo. Sorry dude, you're just weak minded. :/
DocBastard 40
Yes, I'm quite certain that all of medical science with all their double-blinded randomised controlled trials are completely wrong, and your anecdotal case with an N of 1 is correct. How very foolish of those scientists to go through the trouble of publishing their data, when all they really had to do was come to you for the TRUTH!
xcheshirecat 11
My back has been repaired in 3 acupuncture treatments after my accident. Get real facts, and until then, YDI
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yeah, just you. Not everyone, so quit bitching about how "acupuncture works, durr hurr". Idiot...
xcheshirecat 11
...
Haaskyle 2
Science doesn't prove EVERYTHING!
silentbutfunny 0
If science could prove everything, divide by zero ;)
Shrike 24
Wow, this is like on that FML about the haunted house. There's way too many people here who buy into whatever they hear on the TV. Guy above me: you're a dumbass.
tigrouficele2012 44
Acupuncture has worked great for both my emotional problems and my uncle's joint problems. Just because something can't be explained by current science doesn't mean it's bunk. What do you think people used to breathe before oxygen was discovered?
ProhibitionRose 14
Vaporized vodka!