Today, I'm recovering from my second back surgery. I survived four years in the Army with one combat tour without major injury, only to destroy my back the day after discharge by lifting my mother-in-law's suitcase into the trunk of her car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML
MVP
Today, during my second shift back at work after missing four weeks for knee surgery, I stabbed myself in the hand and now need three weeks off for that surgery. Just as I'm up for a promotion. FML
Today, I fell and fractured my tailbone. I just healed from my last tailbone fracture 4 weeks ago. FML
Spring break
Today, I'm off work for 4 weeks after trying to move an obese patient from their bed. The poor woman was so large that when we tried to move her the leg of the bed snapped, and her weight drove the sharp broken leg down through my foot into the carpet. Surgery and no walking for 4 weeks. Whoopee. FML
Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery, and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML
Never joke about it
Today, I got back to work from a 4 month hospital stay and I joked with my boss that after so long away, I’m not planning on being sick again for years. Two hours later, a coworker knocked me down the stairs. A dislocated hip and a broken femur requiring 4-6 weeks of recovery. FML
Enjoy yourself
Today, I woke up after a 16-hour shift, and my back is out. I worked it in order to "enjoy" my 2 days off. I can barely move. FML
Littered
Today, I'm on crutches and wearing an orthopedic boot because a 22.5 pound box of cat litter fell out of my back hatch onto my foot. FML
Cut short
Today, after working two jobs and saving constantly this year all for a month-long solo vacation traveling to 7 countries, I arrived in first one. Within three hours I fell and broke my foot, forcing me to come home in fear of needing surgery. FML
Stranded
Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML
Top comments
urbanbigfoot 20
A+ for creativity. Made me giggle.
cableguy818 3
Thank you for your service. I am sorry to hear about your back. Good luck my friend
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Comments (20)
fuckinusername 5
Shoulda joined the Marine Corps!!
HUGBUG 23
Lift with the legs
Namenlos_fml 20
I'm sure your unit was relieved that they narrowly missed having to do a safety briefing. Seriously though, hoping for the best in your recovery
Esisteinefalle 4
Don't lift with your back, lift with your PFC lol
jrodjets 3
Well on the bright side at least you only hurt your back and didn't loose a leg or a lot more in the Army. And speaking of which thank you for your service.
cableguy818 3
Thank you for your service. I am sorry to hear about your back. Good luck my friend
RaneyTheLad 0
I feel your pain. I can go a full work week on my ship humping ammo cans up and down 20 ft high ladder wells and trunks, 3 gun shoots as a line coach, and eating God awful galley food no problem. I come home and in 20 minutes I've rolled an ankle, tore a muscle in my back, and sliced my hand open while unpacking kitchen supplies from my recent PCS. The real world sucks.