Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife can barely contain her rage at me for throwing out her collection of unique glass bottles, which she was saving for gifting and decoration. I'd feel more guilt if she hadn't been storing them in a box underneath our sink mixed with recyclables. FML
Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML
Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML
Today, I was accosted by an angry homeless man at the recycling center, since I refused to give him my saved up bottles and cans. He insisted that he needed it more and I was "poaching his turf". I needed the recycling to put gas in my car, just to make it to work and hope I could make it back home. FML
Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML
Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML
Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML
Today, I drove a different work vehicle, one with the cupholder right behind the gear lever. After multiple accidental attempts at changing gears with my Coke bottle, I threw it out the window in a temper. I then got busted for littering. FML
Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML
Today, I was on a walk when I saw a man dump a bag of trash into the creek. Furious, I shouted at him, and when he shoved me, I threw him into the creek. Later, I was arrested and charged with battery. FML
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Top comments
P374RD3D 9
Watch out, we got a badass over here.
SeahorseGuy 7
I like the environment and would normally applaud what you did (I do applaud what you did, good job), but I'd never do that.
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Comments (129)
SeahorseGuy 7
I like the environment and would normally applaud what you did (I do applaud what you did, good job), but I'd never do that.
onlychildFTW 34
Who knows what could be in there. That's just disgusting. But OP, wasn't it near the top? It did you leave it all day to e covered?
SeahorseGuy 7
10-OP said, "minutes later", so it was near the top. But he also said it was a "stinking ass" trashcan so it's still pretty gross.
Grimmerie 31
Reading comprehension, 10. OP went trash snorkelling "minutes later".
onlychildFTW 34
OP should have just left it. It will biodegrade anyways. And my bad on the "minutes later" part.
nubnibbler 4
Not if it's plastic it won't biodegrade. That why you should recycle. OP should have felt guilty and I'm glad he has a conscience.
TheMathMajor 26
Yeah, plastic only breaks into smaller and smaller prices, but never breaks down.
ScottieJo 8
YFI for being an idiot.
yahoowizard 16
Each person has their own way of releasing anger, and it's a lot better than how most people do it.
MigraineurOfLife 15
YFI? Now who's the idiot?
ScottieJo 8
You are because you clearly lack the intelligence to realise that it was a typo.
desireev 18
If that is what OP does when they're trying to rebel and be angry, then there is no reason to call somebody an idiot. I'm actually proud that OP felt remorse and dug it out of the trash can. You wanna talk about being an idiot? People who get mad, punch walls, and break their arms/hands/wrists are the idiots. Or people who get mad and hit their spouse/kids are the idiots. Or the people who get mad and drive their cars like a bat out of hell and risk killing themselves, or others, are the idiots... Way to go, OP! Way to keep it calm and fix your mistake! :)
MsPurpleDonkey 2
******* recycle
XTheDesertSongX 17
You can edit your comments.
deBlobX 12
52- Cats can't grab recycling
kittytub 12
who says? meow.
DogsPaw 16
You ******* Idiot.
marmlr339 14
YDI for being stupid. Not sure why that'd make you feel better anyway...
kiwienne 21
Ignorance is bliss
miss_sqwert 19
That's just wired next time just go to gym and beat the snot out of a punching bag like a normal person
PeteyPablo12308 20
Oh I totally agree- that is so wired.
matt_mcg 2
What a wiredo.
desireev 18
Y'all wanna know watt is so wired?... A breaker box! That is totally wired. For short! Haha! :)
gc327072 31
Don't get short with me, guys, or I'll blow a fuse.
annie_nk 23
There are better ways of unwinding. Many of which involve NOT being shoulder deep in garbage.
P374RD3D 9
Watch out, we got a badass over here.
HyperCaz 15
took the meme right out of my mouth
Pleonasm 36
Why can't I... sort all this trash?
Tolarie 13
... Exactly what I was gonna say, 27! :o
Demonfish 14
That's one hell of a way to show your defiance OP -.- I wish I had your creativity.
P1P_BOY 6
This doesnt seem like that big of an fml when it could have been easily avoided... YDI throwing it in the garbage bin in the first place...
hama806 19
I think a little grime on your arms is a small sacrifice to make since you are helping to save the planet, a little at a time.
Boob_fml 6
Right....
challan 19
Breaking the law, breaking the law!
heyyyjune 11
I sang that in the beavus and butthead rhythm hahah
379_fml 11
So did I.