Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML
Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML
Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML
Today, I spilled coffee on my shirt and had to change before a big meeting. The only clean shirt I had was a gift from my brother. I didn’t notice it said "World’s Okayest Employee" on it until I was sat in the meeting. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, while at work, I had to poop. While wiping, I somehow managed to get the back tail of my shirt in between my butthole and the toilet paper, effectively wiping my ass with my white dress shirt. FML
Today, I rushed to work after spilling coffee on my shirt and thought I’d dried it enough. Under the office lights, it looked like a giant brown stain. Three people asked if I was OK. I spent the whole day hunched over my desk pretending nothing was wrong. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
That wasn't disbelief, it was amazement and arousal. (You mean "ink" not "pen".)
allmidnighteyes 11
He only wishes he could've "accidentally" gotten "ink" on your nipple ;D
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Comments (89)
Glam_fml 0
Ha! I love this FML. It sounds like something I would do.
Fett 0
stop talking and keep rubbing.....
myhairynutsack 0
I call fake.
BadLuckTuck 0
Your life is ****** for embarrassing yourself in front of Joe Biden.
IambecomeRAWR 0
Why, exactly? Someone has to work at Joe Biden's office, and the internet is a big place.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Tomorrow, don't forget the handcuffs and whipped cream.
Eve66613 0
hahaha did u get promoted?
tenkenshi 2
sounds like the FML where a guy has an ipod in his shirt pocket and he's turning the sound down as he's approaching a hot girl and it looks like he's rubbing his nipple while looking at her.
canucksrule88 0
LOL he must have been turned way the hell on
Macthenyfe 0
That's rock*
fbirem 2
This was in a commercial, only they used Jelly Doughnuts and it was just some fat coworker instead of his boss. Was never sure if the fat guy was interested in the nipple-rubbing coworker or the Doughnut personally.