Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML
Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML
Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML
Today, I spilled coffee on my shirt and had to change before a big meeting. The only clean shirt I had was a gift from my brother. I didn’t notice it said "World’s Okayest Employee" on it until I was sat in the meeting. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, while at work, I had to poop. While wiping, I somehow managed to get the back tail of my shirt in between my butthole and the toilet paper, effectively wiping my ass with my white dress shirt. FML
Today, I rushed to work after spilling coffee on my shirt and thought I’d dried it enough. Under the office lights, it looked like a giant brown stain. Three people asked if I was OK. I spent the whole day hunched over my desk pretending nothing was wrong. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
That wasn't disbelief, it was amazement and arousal. (You mean "ink" not "pen".)
allmidnighteyes 11
He only wishes he could've "accidentally" gotten "ink" on your nipple ;D
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Comments (89)
Hawk3487 0
too bad it wasnt female.... so i could say.. i saw a girl at my work, tryin to rub ink off her nip and i jizzed... in.. my pants! (i was actually disappointed to see that the OP was male)
Cam275 0
YDI for stopping.
Cam275 0
YDI for stopping.
BadOwner 0
if only you added "with a boner'' i wouldve been rotfl...
manners 0
haha! this one made my day! :)
Darthbane2007 19
Joe Biden saw you rubbing your nipple?
jpest17 5
yea lol everyone know u can't get ink out with saliva he's stairing at u caz ur a dum shit
Anteezy 7
Would've been awesome if it was Dick Cheney.
ZleveL 0
I smell a Porno!! "inky nipple and a kinky triple" it will be called. ( it'll only be triple if the actual president comes in or something)
omgzdude 0
ouch... hope you'd explained that one...