Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML
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Top comments
uprising_fml 0
what a badass . at least you avenged your kid .
Irishxoxo 2
At least you tried to defend your daughter.
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Comments (392)
writerchic85 26
I hope they had cameras so you could press charges
HarleyGal12 18
You could always sue Best Buy. He assaulted your daughter. You had the right to defend her.
shotgun_girl 17
Ok so starting this with he deserved a punch for hitting a little girl how-eh-ver... It's a bit your fault for bringing your child to the bloodbath pretending to be retail that is Black Friday.
MozillaHostile 21
Sue that cuntbucket
Atwood15 12
Who would hit a kid my god you should get a award
Horseman_ 16
if you're going to black friday, don't take your kids. At least not until they're big enough to hold their own.
cuddlycactus 11
Why did you bring your kid to Black Friday? That was simply foolish.
HawkProf 4
Why did you take your kid black Friday shopping? Do you hate her that much?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow... lawsuit! That asshole, what is wrong with people? I hope he also got banned, since he started it. And I know they have security cameras they can check. You shouldn't have been banned, and he should definitely have to pay medical bills.
OrchidKitten 21
To everyone saying "Why bring your daughter at 6am", some stores start Black Friday shopping at 6pm on Thanksgiving.