Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML
kelbel89 tells us more.
kelbel89 6
Hey guys. This is the full scoop. My father is about 5'9'' and my boyfriend is 6'4''. My dad was going to intimidate him in anyway he could. He started the night off by answering the door and telling my BF that I was out on my real date for the night. Obviously, my dad has a very dry sense of humor. I don't think he was actually going to send what he collected to a lab, but he didn't crack a smile the whole time it was going on. I tried to stop him, multiple times, at which point my dad said that my boyfriend was lucky he couldn't find any latex gloves that day because it meant he was going to have to skip the prostate exam. My mother was there and thought it was hilarious. My boyfriend is wonderful and rolled with the punches. He took it very well and we are still together. :) Many of you asked if my dad works in law enforcement. Nope, he's just a Texan (which I feel I should point out my boyfriend is not). My father is incredibly proud of himself, I think even more so now that so many of the comments were in his favor. I was, and still am, absolutely mortified.
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
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Top comments
Vagitarian1 10
Just looking out for you. It could be worse. He couldn't give a damn about you.
Kyuubi_Rose 11
Either your dads a cop or just paranoid, it's good to know he cares though right?
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Comments (89)
DocBastard 40
YES. Well played, sir. If my daughter's dates aren't mortally terrified of me, I will consider myself a failure as a father.
elcee1987 18
For my high school dances, my dad usually wasn't even home. I love my dad but that always made me a little sad. A daughter may act embarrassed but at the end of the day, it's nice when a father takes the time to scare her dates.
monnanon 14
i hope your comment was sarcastic. intimidation tactics by fathers just shows how much they distrust their duaghters. when my dad was really nasty to a bf i had at 18 i gave him a dressing down. it just isnt on.
ChevyRedneck85 13
Yeah cuz it's much better to have our daughters kidnapped raped an possibly killed. Your right we shouldn't use scare tactics. Cuz serial killers always tell ya that's what they are
TheDrifter 24
As a father, the duty is to scare them into gentlemanly behavior. We're not trying to run off every guy that our daughters like, nor terrify them into a crying heap huddled in a corner, just ensuring good behavior by reminding them that mistreating our daughters has consequences. If they run away or cower in terror, they had no intention of treating the girl in question in any sort of way that they think a father might find acceptable.
ChevyRedneck85 13
If I could make a guy sit in the corner an cry I'd be so proud of myself lol
monnanon 14
57 we women are quite capable of picking a sane guy without our fathers butting in. as i said before it shows complete distrust of the daughter to believe that she would blindly date a rapist or psychopath and is actually a little sexist. do you really think a psycho doesnt know how to play thr family anyway?
ChevyRedneck85 13
do you really think anybody walking an first thing they see is a shitgun an a shovel wouldnt have a change of heart
monnanon 14
no they wouldnt. thats what psychopaths are like. they have a goal and all you are doing is making the chase more fun. all you will achieve is chasing away all the genuinely nice guys.
kmccain 27
When I brought my boyfriend home the first time, I was a little disappointed my dad didn't do anything.
squideth 18
Thank you 89. Women aren't idiots, not are they property that needs "protecting". My dad loves me dearly, but is an adult and has never done any of these immature scare-tactics bullshit. I've survived fine and am a well-adjusted person. Shocking, I know, that women can manage their own lives without men protecting them.
AquanTheDragon 5
I would hate to be shot by a shitgun, sir.
ChevyRedneck85 13
But how epic would it be to be able to shoot a turd out of a gun at somebody
kc_bbg15 14
Hahaaha "shitgun"
KillSwitch96 18
Hey you can never be too safe when making sure your daughter is dating a good guy! Hopefully your boyfriend will be able to just laugh it off. I mean, I would have laughed uncontrollably throughout the whole process. Haha :)
an3ph 20
Sorry, OP, but your dad sounds AWESOME! I am definitely filing that away for use when my daughters are dating.
pepsi_ftw 13
my dad did a background check on mine
chuka81 27
Always do background checks on potential son-in-laws. He could have been more covert about it though. The glass you boyfriend used could have supplied both DNA and finger prints.
KillSwitch96 18
I don't think OP's father really wanted to be sneaky about that. He was, most likely, trying to make OP's boyfriend uncomfortable.
castleofg1ass 19
Yeah... I suggest keeping relationships secret from your parents for a while or until they mature from this stage
deathstroke990 22
I.like to imagine your boyfriends face as this was happening .
Inked0803 12
Someone is a bit overprotective
worldclassrager 41
Well he's on record...extra safe dad? Either way he really wants to keep his daughter protected...
KimmyCupZ 21
All my dad did was ask whether my boyfriend watches the rugby or not -_-
KimmyCupZ 21
That's a good thing, right?