Today, a man approached my delivery van and asked for change for a $5 bill. I guess I should've expected him to grab the change and run off with the extra money. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, I decided to be a generous guy and slip a dollar from my pocket to a beggar. Turns out I'd slipped my hard-earned $100 bill instead. FML
Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML
Today, a man came up to me and asked for a $50 bill in change. Being a good man, I said sure. I gave him the change and he gave me the $50 bill. After walking into Starbucks to buy a coffee, I handed the cashier my $50 bill. She called the cops. It was counterfeit. FML
Today, I came across a street musician. He looked extremely well-fed already, but his music was pretty good, so I gave him some spare change. As soon as I turned away, he started screaming at me for being "cheap", and chased me half a block before running out of breath. FML
Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML
Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML
Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML
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Top comments
LaColombianita 26
Well at least it was only $5 and not $50
missjessicamarie 14
Hopefully karma will kick that guy in the ass! Don't lose faith in all of humanity yet OP, there's still some good people out there! :)
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Comments (41)
PenguinBitch 44
Go after him and deliver him a punch.
worldclassrager 41
Point the next one to the closest store if there is one or play it well have the five and have him give you his bill first...luckily it was only 5$ not something bigger
laden_swallow09 35
Ladies, gentlemen, countrymen, lend me your ears. KARMA AS YOU KNOW IT DOES NOT WORK. It's merely cause and effect. Believing that someone will receive some sort of subjectively qualitative fortune either directly or indirectly by an indefinite cosmic force is nothing short of naïvety and laziness. Someone steals money from me, I get angry, chase him down, and punch a few teeth out of his skull after I take back what's mine. THAT is karma you can believe in. Seriously, read up on Buddhist and Hindu literature to understand what karma really is, rather than merely taking context clues from people who don't even follow the appropriate religions.
Meettitan 14
Karma now-a-days is a causal fallacy. It is the same as having lucky underwear, or preparing for a sports game the same way every time. We see the outcome of a (likely random) situation and inversely assume the cause.
allie2590 31
Karma is a little bit of hope for justice for those who aren't stupid enough to assault someone over some spare change.
JayVicious 20
in the past i would try to explain karma to people, but after a while i just got to tired to try. western karma is very different from the original meaning.
princessofthedrk 13
I'll prolly get thumbs down for this, but YDI for not getting the money from them first. As a cashier AND delivery person, it's common sense to get the money from them first. Yes, they're an ass for stealing from you in the first place and people suck sometimes, but nowadays you never know what's gonna happen.
whenitdidhappen 14
plot twist : he's from IRS
mad_max209 2
nah, the IRS will just steal it directly from your check, they don't ask.
Aero_x 21
some guy at a gas station asked my cousin if he could borrow his cell to make a call. as soon as he had it in his mitts, he jumped in a running vehicle and took off :/ gotta be super careful these days.
man_eating_bunny 18
U shouldve took the money from him before trading :(
vikky538 29
I think his intent was to steal 5 $1 bills
telli164 30
What a cheap ass!
Rawrshi 25
Welcome to Florida! :D