Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a band with some friends and we got our first gig at a local festival, but I'd already agreed to work serving drinks at the festival. My bandmates got really annoyed and kicked me out of the band. They then went ahead and performed the song that I WROTE, without me, at the festival where I was working. FML
Today, my mate came over wanting me to listen to a new music CD he got. It was by some unknown band, and at the end he asked me what I thought, and I said it was ok but the lead singer couldn't sing even if his life depended on it. Turns out my mate's the lead singer, and it was his own band. FML
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to play my friends the demo CD that I've spent all summer recording. I didn't tell them it was me. Not even 10 seconds into the first song, my best friend asked me to turn it off because it sucked. FML
Today, after spending weeks working on a song that meant a lot to me, I reluctantly posted it online. The "friend" who'd convinced me to post it, commented, "This is the worst shit I've ever heard." He got 30 likes, along with a barrage of agreeing, equally terrible comments. FML
Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML
Today, I auditioned for the musical at my school. Before I sang my song, I gave my music to the director. She said "Oh, I love this song!". After I sang it, she told me, "It's okay, I still like the song." FML
Today, my roommate eavesdropped on me singing. When I realized he was there, he said I was "fucking incredible" and asked me to do another song. There's just one issue: I only sing well when I'm alone. The result was predictably bad. If it was possible to literally die of embarrassment, I wouldn't be writing this. FML
Today, I signed up for karaoke at a bar, thinking I’d picked a fun, easy song. When it started playing, I realized I'd unknowingly chosen the eight-minute extended remix with two full guitar solos. I had to awkwardly sway on stage for five minutes while everyone drank their beers silently. FML
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Top comments
yoursucklives 36
that sounds like a lovely song!
gc327072 31
With the kinda music popular today, that sounds like it could be a #1 hit.
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Comments (117)
CestLaVieMonAmi 6
Sounds like the next Kanye West and Kim Kardashian song.
orphinz 3
Sounds like you have never listen to a Kanye album in your life. despite his egotistical presence outside of music he is actually an excellent musician and is generally well received by many notable sources.
Rainhawk94 27
Don't listen to Bruno over here
IceMan11 23
He's a lyrical genius... Not!
rocker_chick105 31
16: "that shit cray"- Kanye West Sounds like a songwriting genius. Not only do we have him to thank for the annoying kids who say that line, but also for the lyrically astounding song, Gold Digger.
Klona 7
This reminds me of the map song from Dora the Explorer.
bubblyhayley 16
and now were all singing 'im a bitch' to the map tune in our head!
Paradoxxxx 16
Haha, im surprised you agreed to it. Don't take it personally, sometimes you just gotta go with the flow :p everyone has their own type of music. I guess that's just what he djs for
DocBastard 40
Still better than anything by Miley Cyrus or One Direction.
arandomusernameaa 20
It could be... The best song ever! Sorry please don't wreck me...
Peachy2392 26
I work at a girl's clothing store and all we listen to is big time rush (is that their name?), r5, one direction and some other little Disney stars no one cares about. What's worse is that the little girls that come in to the store LOVE to sing along...as loud as they possibly can.
Sports_guy3 28
Doc- You forgot Justin Bieber!
buckdharma 38
Doc, please don't be hatin' on my Miley. Even her tongue is talented.
murdersquirrel 15
it doesn't take talent to stick your tongue out. ask any 5 year old.
Meettitan 14
#80, don't let Gene Simmons hear you say that.
Korra_fml 23
thats just part of his stage act. he doesnt do that off stage, at least not nearly as often as miley. she cant figure out how to even keep her tongue in her mouth. what a waste of a lower jaw.
noobsatin 19
better than not being on a track. famous life here you come.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Cue the half-ass breakdown in the middle of the "song", and you got yourself a party hit!
MisterDoge 14
Oh, you you are a what you say?
anythingwilldo 10
You were like Britney that sucks man.
laden_swallow09 35
PUNCTUATION, ************! DO YOU SPEAK IT?
lsg3000 6
And that's exactly why I don't listen to hip-hop!
Ki11erC 18
Nothing says this is hip hop. Plenty of other music styles that use a DJ.
cryssycakesx3 23
oxymoron.
Nilorak 24
Maybe he is trying to tell you something?