Today, it has got to the point that I don't even have to ask for my booze in the local off-licence, they just hand me my bottle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML
Today, a local liquor store gave me a holiday gift for being such a great customer. They're not the first ones to do so. FML
Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML
Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I are already on a first-name basis. I just moved to this town a week ago. FML
Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML
Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML
Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML
Today, I tried to buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket. The scrawny, acne-ridden kid at the checkout asked to see my ID. I didn't have any on me, since I'm 37 years old and didn't expect to be asked stupid questions. I complained to his manager, only to be asked to leave. FML
Today, I bought a small bottle of liquor to share with my husband to celebrate our move. It took three hours at the store as the cashier, manager, GM, and a police officer checked my ID believing it was fake. I'm 25. FML
Today, I came home from a nine-hour shift and all I want is to sit down with a glass of Baileys. I can't find the key to the liquor cabinet. FML
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Top comments
hkhan24 23
there was one case where an old lady would order the same pizza everyday for three years without fail to the point where they would cook it before she even phoned. One day when she didn't call the driver went to her house to check on her and found she suffered a stroke. moral of the story: your alcoholism could one day save your life!
couchcat 25
Now might be a time to get some help bud....
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Comments (87)
brenton490 19
I don't get why everyone thinks OP has a drinking problem. Perhaps OP just gets the same thing all the time. This is what you call a regular customer. Try something new OP that's always the best part.
lysx84 24
That's what I was thinking. If op buys the same bottle of wine weekly to share with a partner it's far from being an alcohol problem!
Candijpg 17
He might not be an alcoholic, sounds like he just goes in for one. That's not so bad.
IssacB 14
Well, you said local... so I guess it's only bad if you DON'T live in a small town.
raven_of_azarath 35
I'm the same way with the Subway in my town. They see me walk in, and I don't even have to order my sandwich anymore.
tosdyke 16
...must make you proud,
vampyrate3562 19
Fellow Kent dweller, I think you need help. Or maybe go to a different off license once in a while :-)
hannahpk 11
I'm in Kent too, my bet's OP lives in Chatham or Rochester :)
that_guy31 12
lol
Benderama 8
At the what?
Tommy1340 18
The liquor store
prostar9993 15
I got to that point years ago. Welcome to the club.
russfml 31
Sounds like the liquor is calling the shots now bud. Better get that under control before the shit Hawks come and start a shit storm
Jayms_fml 32
Lol! Love the 'Trailer Park Boys' reference.
russfml 31
Haha thanks! I guess most of the FML community isn't a fan of trailer park boys :/