Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found the iPod touch that my mother claimed was stolen at the mall a few years ago, lying on her bed, still logged in to her Facebook. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me on Facebook to stop calling/texting her because she lost her phone. Right under her post was "sent from Facebook for iPhone." FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, my mother hacked my Facebook and broke up with my boyfriend and pretended to be me. She told him if he ever talks to me again, she'll call the cops. FML
Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML
Today, I found out that my mom uses my Facebook account more than I do. FML
Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML
Today, my parents gave me an iPhone. They then checked my grades online, and promptly took it away. FML
Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
They tried to confiscate my phone and I said "No, no, no."
U_GotitDude 18
Can't you go get it back? FYL OP
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Comments (78)
DocBastard 40
They tried to confiscate my phone and I said "No, no, no."
Enslaved 38
I don't think people understand your joke. Being a music-buff, I did! (:
metalhead4740 14
I thought it was a family guy joke at first but then I got it :D
starbunnytwinkle 3
You don't really have to be a music buff to get the joke. Rehab was a pretty popular song...
Enslaved 38
#35, Perhaps-- but you probably didn't know 20's comment was being down voted numerous times. I was referring to those people not understanding it.
badbadkitty 5
I don't know about anyone else but my brain sang this in Amy Winehouse's voice...
perdix 31
If it's such a smartphone, it'll figure out how to bust out and get back to you. The iPhone 5 calls in a team of Apple Commandos to carry out an Infiltrate & Extract Mission when it is separated from its owner.
Pleonasm 36
Unfortunately the skirmish would be orchestrated using the iOS 5 maps and they would actually end busting up some poor old woman's flower shop across the street. (joke had to be made)
perdix 31
#29, I thumbed you up. "iOS 5 Maps" was really Google Maps and iOS 6, they were the fledgling Apple Maps. Good catch! Why they weren't released as a beta, I'll never know . . .
Pleonasm 36
Dammit, here's me trying to make a good joke and I don't even know which version is which... My bad, peeps.
perdix 31
#33, and I'm tickled by the image of the Apple Commandos, a phalanx of blue-shirted hipsters with no underpants and thigh-high jackboots storming the rehab center to liberate the imprisoned iPhone.
jaystreet46 4
Do hipsters use iPhones?
marrrry 4
65: no, of course not. They use a different phone, it's pretty obscure, you've probably never heard of it.
bReLiNg 18
I'd just go there and explain, then while walking out hold up the phone and make eye contact with your mother. Give her a "REALLY?" Type of face. That should send the message.
danielhartlesss 13
Or make eye contact and flip her off to let her know how you really feel.
Vashen 5
Go in and ask for the phone. If they refuse to return it, threaten with theft. Sure, your mother stole it from you, but with them not returning it makes them an accessory to the fact.
slmchicd12 23
Sorry your mom is in rehab OP. I hope she gets better.
The_Honey_Badger 17
Oh my... I'm sure they'll let you get it back. I mean, how could they not?
mangoboy1 19
I feel like a lot of people should be in smartphone rehab
Roselfn_fml 1
I ask you in advance to accept my humble apologies, but I have no idea what you're saying and I do not understand the fall of your story, moreover tragic. Would you kindly huge enlighten me? It may be that the vapors of alcohol and other illicit substances have somewhat altered my mental faculties, but this story flies immediately above my head like the birds in the trees and is completely out of reach of my few neurons still in running.
fmlforreal92 8
Gotta be safer with your stuff.
neshag 2
Damn that sucks! I hope your mom gets the help she needs and takes rehab more seriously than Facebook.
simoncat 11
Bust her. Go tell the front desk (or whatever their equivalent is), and call her out on the phone issue.
dmorrte 13
#55 I respectfully disagree they brought you to this world, you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for your parents and I think that deserves a little respect