Today, after my girlfriend of a year got accidentally pregnant, we were discussing it, and she only just now revealed she thinks vaccines are an evil conspiracy between hospitals and drug companies, and she’s carrying my baby. The next 18 years with this mad woman are not going to go well. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, I found out my wife's sister is an antivaxxer, and my wife is headed that way too. Our first baby is due next February. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, I found out I’m gonna be a father. Apparently, my ex-girlfriend’s arm implant didn’t work this one time we had sex during our closure talk. Now I’m stuck having a baby with a girl I don’t even love anymore, and I have figure out how to explain this to my current girlfriend, who I do love. FML
Today, I got my one year-old daughter vaccinated. My wife tried to leave me, because she's "never felt more betrayed". FML
Today, we learned that my fiancée was having a cryptic pregnancy when she went to the hospital fearing food poisoning and came out with a baby. She never gained a pound or showed any symptoms at all. Even more miraculous is that we’re both women. Yeah my world is pretty much over. FML
Today, I accidentally got pregnant by my boyfriend of three years and now I’m 4 months pregnant, single and we don’t even talk anymore. The best part is that he doesn’t believe I’m pregnant, nor that it’s his. FML
Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He immediately had a massive panic attack about how a kid is going to ruin his life and split us up, because obviously I’ll choose the baby over him. We’re now in hospital because he hyperventilated, passed out and fractured his skull on the door handle. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Stand up for yourself and your kid by getting them vaccinated on the recommended schedule. The real conspiracy is the right-wing media who stir up crazy stories to fleece stupid people and control them.
core01 30
You may want to go for full custody once the kid is born.
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Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
Stand up for yourself and your kid by getting them vaccinated on the recommended schedule. The real conspiracy is the right-wing media who stir up crazy stories to fleece stupid people and control them.
core01 30
You may want to go for full custody once the kid is born.
Anderling 33
This this this! OP should see if he can get some of this conspiracy bs in writing, or record it if they’re in a single-consent jurisdiction, and file for full custody based on medical necessity. Don’t play games with a child’s life, go for the throat.
IantoJones_fml 30
Make sure YOU give the hospital permission for Vitamin K at birth - otherwise the baby has increased chances of bleeding on the brain! Look it up for yourself. If you think you can get her to listen at ALL, Google the crazy-herbal oils - whatever that advocate for vitamin K in everyday life (maybe it’s good for hair or something?) to show her it’s “just a vitamin, good for you, helpful”. You can get the kids vaccinated with just your permission, as long as she doesn’t suspect you. But the initial vitamin k, she’s in the room so you have a few months to figure out how to convince her. Babies have died without it, and more have had literal brain damage.
IantoJones_fml 30
Others have said, and you know, that you can and must get their vaccinations. Something not yet addressed is the Vitamin K shot at birth (which prevents brain bleeding, brain damage, and literally death). You have a few months to Google vitamin k and its crazy “homeopathic” health benefits in a way she can understand. The ways the crazy ladies use vitamin k for whatever health benefits THEY attribute to it in every day life. So you can put your foot down in the hospital and insist without her interference (because for THIS she’s in the room). All the other shots can be given without her presence (and maybe you can use the crazy to get full custody?), but the Vit K is at birth and absolutely critical.
SJKatt 15
100% start documenting this IMMEDIATELY. You will need it for the court case you'll need to open to either get your child vaccinated or to get custody, if you feel this is grounds for separation. If she lied about this, there will be more lies, so I suggest separation but that's your choice. Protect your baby.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Accidentally pregnant? Either you didn't use birth control or it failed. If it's the former, YDI. If it's the latter, and you want to be a part of the kid's life, do what others are saying and make sure you give consent to the vaccines... which the kid will definitely need.