Today, I was at my 10-year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screamed when she saw me. Then she started hitting me, looking panicked. I calmed her down and asked why she hit me. She says, "Everyone thought you were dead"' FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML
Today, I ran into an old friend for whom I used to have feelings. I hadn't seen her in years, so I thought it would be funny if I went up to her and said, "Hey, you look familiar, do I know you?" She thought I had really forgotten her and burst into tears. FML
Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML
Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML
Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML
Today, I saw my old high school crush in a grocery store. I panicked, because the last time I saw her, I was spouting embarrassing teenage incel horseshit at her, so I dodged out of view to look at something. She'd seen me, came over, and found me awkwardly crouched in the vegetable section, staring at a cucumber. FML
Today, I ran into one of my exes, and she seemed straight up shocked to see me. She said, "OH MY GOD! You're alive?" like I was a suicide risk or something. Nope, turns out her last 3 boyfriends before me were so unstable that when she cheated on them, they killed themselves shortly after. FML
Today, I attended my high school reunion and was feeling good about the gym progress I’d made. Looking fabulous, I was ready to relive my glory days when I got into a conversation with someone I didn’t recognize. He had to remind me that we were in the same chemistry class for two years. I had no idea who he was. FML
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I've had a huge glow up since then, and I noticed plenty of women who never spoke to me at the time trying to hit it off with me. It seems the partners of some of those women got jealous and started pressing me. Now I'm getting bullied for being hot? FML
Today, at my high school reunion, my old bully tried to apologize but I told her to fuck off. She wouldn't leave me alone, so I purposely spilled my drink on her. I got kicked out. FML
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Top comments
Sun_Kissed18 25
Ok, even if she thought you were dead, why is hitting an appropriate response?
DDang 2
Wow. That sucks big time. How the heck did it come to that? o-o
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Comments (103)
DeathShad0 1
Sweet. I would love to be in a situation like that. Now, go find someone else who thought you were dead and watch them through their house windows.
rxxk 0
No, Steve Jobs did that. Twain just copied him when he was announcing something for Apple.
Yooh_Plus_Meh 0
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.. - Mark Twain.
Taravampire 0
dont you or those people have facebooks? apparently not.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
The fakes on FML are getting more and more shitty.
blastvortex 4
Ditto. I doubt that even a lobotomized monkey could believe this one.
_Niccc_13 0
it must suck not to be popular huh...
xxcheeseizlifexx 1
#61 youre not a bitch or anything... bitch
Heung_Mao 0
Why would she think you were dead?
lissasaywhaaa 0
If you were one of those guys that stared at her in class and things of that sort, I'd be able to understand why she hit you. But the dead thing I can't exactly understand. Either you pissed off one too many people, or someone just wanted to screw with you. If you have another reunion, do zombie makeup. It'd be definite payback. ;)
DarthRant 0
You should've backhanded the drunk bitch.
tlyr 0
I can see why you'd be freaked out
enphinitie 20
o.O what brought about that conclusion?