Today, my boss installed a comment box for anonymous suggestions on how to improve the workplace. So far, I've received 5 notes from my employees requesting that I be fired or replaced by a hotter woman, as it's the best way to improve the company. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML
Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML
Today, I gave my boss a report I wrote on my own time, full of suggestions on how to increase productivity and profits at our company. He said my ideas made "about as much sense as pistol-whipping a ghost" and that I was impressing no one. FML
Today, half of my office urged me to file a complaint against a coworker for aggressive behaviour, so I did. Less than 24 hours later, HR gave him a real dressing down and the whole office turned against me for ratting on him to management. FML
Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML
Today, I received an email from my boss announcing a new company policy that everyone already hates. Meaning to vent, I typed a snarky reply meant for my friend, saying, "Guess we’re all fucking robots now, huh?" I'd hit "Reply All" instead. Now the entire office, including my boss, knows exactly what I think. FML
Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML
Today, at work, a table of girls complained to the manager about me. The complaint? "He's not hot enough to work here. We want a sexy server." The manager agreed with them and sent me home. I might lose my job because of a table of shallow women. FML
Today, my boss gave me a warning for "insulting our best customer" after she saw a comment on her customer card saying "stop giving this fat bitch free samples." My boss had written it in the first place, but refuses to either remember or admit it. FML
Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
GhostFox 34
And yet people insist that workplace sexism doesn't exist anymore.
Knittedbirch 8
Maybe bring this up to HR? Anonymous sexist harassment is still not okay, and they maybe need to take a long hard look at their workplace culture if employees think this is funny/acceptable.
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Comments (17)
GhostFox 34
And yet people insist that workplace sexism doesn't exist anymore.
Knittedbirch 8
Oh, no, no. It's not sexism. If OP were a hotter woman, they would love her! They love hot women, so how can they be sexist? You're just goofy.
GhostFox 34
I can't tell if you are being sarcastic or actually believe that. Mostly because of the number of people I've encountered that honestly believe that logic.
Leeono 26
Why not both? BECOME the hotter woman....
Shabnam Moghal 14
Why should she change for a bunch of people who are willing to get her fired for the way she looks?
Leeono 26
Don't know why I read it as a guy OP so was making a joke....oops
RichardPencil 32
Ah, the downside of the otherwise glamorous life of a stripper!
Lobby_Bee 18
Hope your boss isn't a nitwit and actually consider these as constructive suggestions.
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
Well what did he expect?
Chinaski76 15
Constructive comments about how to improve the workplace?
Zachary8261 28
If your boss fires you because, according to your coworkers, you’re not “hotter,” talk to HR.
SteelSoul5 9
Zachary's comment
Knittedbirch 8
Maybe bring this up to HR? Anonymous sexist harassment is still not okay, and they maybe need to take a long hard look at their workplace culture if employees think this is funny/acceptable.
Nats4444 11
That is sexual harassment. You are well within your rights to sue.
dexter420 21
You call yourself catty 13. Thats a red flag