Today, my son is a vegan who keeps talking about how Just Stop Oil are technically the good guys. My wife won’t stop crying because she thinks we’ve failed as parents by raising an arsehole. I've had a migraine ever since this argument. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, even though I told my son I had vegan burgers for him, he brought enough vegan food for everyone at a barbecue, and tried to get everyone to try it. Not one person ate a damn bit of it, and he’s now crying, all while blocking our drive with his car. FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, my vegan step-mom found out I ate at McDonald's yesterday. She gave me hell and asked me how it feels to give money to "murderers". All while my dad sat quietly by because he's too whipped to speak his mind. It wasn't even her house a month ago. FML
Today, my vegan sister told my kids where meat and dairy products come from, in a very detailed way. They now refuse to eat meat, and want to, "rescue all the poor animals." FML
Today, my boyfriend called my mother stupid and angrily argued with her at a family dinner. Why? We have a long-running family joke that "Vegan food doesn't contain calories," and my boyfriend thought my mum said it seriously, and was therefore a moron. FML
Today, my boyfriend has always been a health nut, but he's really started going off the deep end lately. He's gone from just disliking fast food to a lunatic yelling about organ meat (YUCK), seed oils, and microplastics, as well as other things I don't understand. FML
Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML
Today, my son won't go to his team dinner because the other kids made fun of him for "eating like a monkey." My wife says this is my fault. Funny, when I tried to teach him not to eat with his fingers, she got mad and ranted that "people ALL OVER THE WORLD eat with their fingers, it's normal, stop criticizing him!" FML
Today, my son finally stood up to his bully and gave him a smashing that he damn well deserved. I’m desperate to tell him how proud I am, but my wife won’t let me because “we’re not raising a thug” and after 17 years of marriage, I’ve learned arguing with her is pointless. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
…at least he’s idolizing a nonviolent group for now and not PETA?
RichardPencil 32
What do you mean "technically?" They are actually the good guys. The hottest days in history didn't just happen randomly -- and the bad guys are profiting handsomely from creating this disaster.
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Comments (6)
Anderling 33
…at least he’s idolizing a nonviolent group for now and not PETA?
Thaylok 17
It doesn't sound to me like he was raised for the beliefs he is espousing based on the statements about arguments and how you parents are taking it. So ask, is he doing this to get on someone's good side? He trying to drill for oil in some girls nature preserve? In any case the need here was for reasonable discussion with point/counterpoint (on BOTH sides). Yelling at each other only drives a stake between the family.
RichardPencil 32
What do you mean "technically?" They are actually the good guys. The hottest days in history didn't just happen randomly -- and the bad guys are profiting handsomely from creating this disaster.
cpguru24 18
"Recorded history" just to clarify. Not in all of history.
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
yeah well you can't prove there were any hotter days any more than we can prove there weren't so there's no point whatsoever mentioning that.
bazjack 26
Scientists are saying it's the hottest summer in 125,000 years. Humans have been around for 200,000 years, as a comparison. So it's considerably more than recorded history.
Yudith 28
Don't worry; every child goes against his parents at some point. Either he will go back to you, or you will go vegan.
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
Congratulations! Somehow, you've raised a son who can think for himself and cares about the future of humankind. Emphasis on the "somehow".
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
This will be the hottest summer of your life, and also the coolest summer of the rest of your life. So why not take some advice from your son? Sounds like he knows the way.