Today, I woke up and realized I didn't start a fire last night. I live in Alaska and our winter nights can reach -30 below zero. My fish are dead, my plasma television won't turn on, and the cat has frostbite. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up on the coldest morning of the year to discover that the gas fireplace has run out of propane, and there is no water because the pipes are frozen. While trying to locate the frozen pipe, I forgot to let the dog out, and she peed on the carpet. FML
Today, I woke up and checked my fish tank. I thought the temperature was too low, so half asleep, I turned it up. Now all my fish are dead. FML
Today, my car heater finally died. I deliver pizzas. In Alaska. FML
Today, I woke up to a quite frigid room, which wasn't out of the ordinary since my building's heat is broken. But I realized that the extra cold I was feeling was due to the snow piled up on my bed. It had snowed 20 inches last night. My mom had apparently opened my window. FML
Today, my furnace and all of my heating systems broke down. A fridge is 3 degrees Celsius; it is now 2 degrees Celsius in my house. I would be warmer in my fridge. FML
Today, my refrigerator defrosted itself. FML
Today, thanks to a wonderful -40°F wind chill (I'm in the Midwest), I woke up this morning to a freezing cold house. I had to wear my shoes, a coat, and gloves. Indoors. For the whole morning and most of the afternoon. FML
Today, I took my car into the mechanic to have two tires and battery put in, all new. I later got a call saying they tried to start my car on the dead battery, which sparked and started a fire. It's gonna take two weeks to get the parts and it's minus 30 outside. FML
Today, during the worst flu we've ever had, my wife and I have to go out into thirty-below weather to get firewood because the furnace broke down. FML
Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
exileonmainst 16
Why would you need to start the fire? It was always burning, since the world’s been turning.
JL_atl 4
Don't believe this one. - A house in Alaska with out central heating? - If it cooled that fast would all the pipes frozen be a bigger concern? - The house went well below freezing but it was not noticed during the night. Does this person sleep in an arctic rated sleeping bag? - Plasma TVs can be shipped at temperatures down to 0 or below. Did the house drop below that? - A house in Alaska would be well insulated. It would not drop over 40-60 degrees in 8 hours.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (20)
karma1221 11
so that's how they make frozen fish sticks
Yudith 28
If you're the kind of guy who kicks the cat out of the bedroom to get some undisturbed sleep, at least buy a Husky and have your 300-year-old shack properly insulated. I guess that's why you don't have running water and you still use an oil lamp to go to the outhouse.
thatslifeiguess7 16
I just fot back from alaska it was,at most 15 outside! My aunt has central heating the fireplace is for looks or when you first come in from outside. I was cold yes but not ftozen
ARISKomuniszt 24
You have a plasma television and no heating? hmmm....
thatslifeiguess7 16
thats what said where are the moderators who approved this
keble 9
Someone will probably use this as evidence against global warming
thatslifeiguess7 16
How did you not freeze? Have thr pipes burst yet
ChakatBlackstar 29
Are you new to Alaska? Seems like if your heating and insulation were bad enough for this to happen, making sure there's a fire going would be second nature. I had an old apartment with an unreliable sump pump, and making sure that was working when it rained became second nature to the whole family, despite rain being far less predictable then cold in Alaska and over 5 years we only flooded once very early on. This is either your first year Alaska, or you're lying...or possibly exaggerating.
Sertorius 10
Of course, -30 below zero would be... +30. How good or bad that would be would depend on whether you are using Celsius or Fahrenheit. Kelvin seems unlikely.
Ih8teenageangst 20
Vodka is a hell of a thing. For the rest of you, have you ever lived in a shitbox dry cabin? It makes you want to drink.
zoelog 10
it gets to -30 and you forgot to make a fire? how could you forget to make a fire? ydi