Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from SpongeBob, with large letters spelling, "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, after work, I peeled a parking ticket off my windshield. It was so hot that the ink from the ticket made a stamp on my windshield. Now I have a permanent reminder staring me in the face wherever I drive. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML
Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML
Today, I parked in a different lot because the one I usually park in was full. When I came back later, a bumper sticker was stuck to the windshield that said, "INCONSIDERATE F***, DON'T PARK HERE AGAIN!" To make matters worse, it was stuck on with a special type of glue, so it can't be removed. FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML
Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML
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Top comments
Scytheria 1
Rubbing alcohol will take that right off. Goo Gone if that doesn't work. No big deal. At least they didn't draw a penis or something.
greenltrn2003 0
this has to be the most random string of events that has ever ****** someones life up
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Comments (139)
tothelimit 0
Dude, If I were you, and I could see to drive, I'd keep it to be honest
eriinbaby 0
HAHAHAHA dope :)
pu13 5
I don't see how this is an fml I mean you got a funky drawing of squidward be happy
My2864 1
im no marker expert but permanent marker isnt.... uhhmm permanent its quite easy to get rid of esspecially from glass
fakeaccountX 6
Since when does Squidward like potatoes?
pencilsupmynose 0
LOL LMAO ROFL ROFLMAO BWAHAHHGAHAHHAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LittleMarshmallo 0
WHAHAAHAA, youve got a picture of that? x'D i wanna see n_n
Popsiclese 0
that sounds like a good thing
jrl13 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA this sounds like something my friend would do.
LAXgurlie28 0
I love this FML(: