Today, I was picking up my 10 year-old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, I was at the airport when I saw a woman drop her bags and run to her husband. Thinking that someone might steal them, I picked up her bags and brought them over to her. She thanked me by slapping me, calling me a bitch and calling security. FML
Today, I took my step-kids and left my abusive husband. I've just been informed that I'm being accused of kidnapping. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
Today, I hugged a man I thought was my dad at the airport. It wasn't my dad. The man’s actual family stood nearby, watching me cling to their father for a solid 5 seconds. FML
Today, I went to pick up my niece from daycare. As I walked past the gates, a little kid yelled, “Daddy’s here!” and ran to hug me. His actual dad was right behind me, clearly very confused, while the daycare workers glared at me like they were about to call the cops on me. FML
Today, I was picking up my nephew from school. I waved when I saw him coming, shouted, “Hey dude!” The kid stared at me, confused. That’s when I realized it wasn’t my nephew, just a child who looked vaguely similar but who was now terrified. His actual mom gave me a look like she was deciding whether to call security. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
Next time the little **** asks you for anything tell him, "Hey--who do you think I am, your Dad?"
MiddleChild08 0
That kid would be grounded until he died...
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Comments (85)
bluetopaz73 0
this kid is going to do great things in his life.
Tubasaurus 0
10? You mean 4 right?
Jenny444_fml 0
He knows something you dont LMAO
EmD92 0
Ha you have and awsome step kid! He will do great things.
zebra1232 0
http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=23961
Crash2108 0
What a ******. He's throwing a hissy fit at 10?
captainbj2 0
Well said
TheKitsune 0
This is why you don't marry single mothers. Kids can get you into a lot of trouble if they want, and the woman is obviously divorced for a reason.
gothymama 0
That's a ******* dumb-ass statement, especially coming from a woman. How do you know that woman didn't get the **** out of her first marriage because the guy was an asshole, beat her, or beat her child? I hope you never find yourself a single mother wanting to get into another relationship if that's the advice you're giving out.
growingupnextmon 3
I hear China has some real nice places to work.
chanel_bbygirl 0
omg that's great!!! sad but funny ur life does suck if it happened which i wouldnt doubt it did...ppl are dumb nowadays...
zack767 0
no one likes step dads
SnowByte 0
I like my step-dad. Not all step-parents are bad people. My step-dad has been more of a dad to me than my real father ever has been.
PistenDeer 0
You f*cking c*nt. F*ck you I hope you burn in hell for what you said. You have no idea how much people you just insulted now. You're the son of Satan, b*tch.