Today, I almost got lucky with a girl from my course. We've been flirting since we met. After removing her top and moving downwards with my tongue, whilst moaning my name she decided to mention she has a boyfriend and that we needed to stop. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a really cute girl from my class invited me out for a few drinks. I’ve had a crush on her all year and thought this was my chance. We went out but it turns out she has a boyfriend of 5 and a half years she plans to marry. I saw her as a potential girlfriend and I guess she saw me as something else. FML
Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia who is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of two years called and proposed to her. FML
Today, I was struggling through an exam and the hot girl next to me seemed to be flying through the questions. So I cheated off her. When we finished I asked her to lunch. She said, "No, I just rushed through the exam so I can go fuck my boyfriend." I got shutdown and probably failed an exam. FML
Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML
Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML
Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML
Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML
Today, I was flirting with a girl I like when she confessed she was into another guy. I then proceeded to wingman for that guy, telling her to take her shot with him before the chance went away. Effectively sticking myself into the friendzone. FML
Today, while away at college, I had a flirty relationship with a girl living on the floor below me. It turned physical. Heavy petting, making out, lots of over the clothes stuff. Home on break and visiting my girlfriend at work, there she is, working with her, standing side by side as I walked up! What?! FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
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Top comments
immortalhmars 14
How nice of her to not stop you before then
Welshite 40
Abort mission. Repeat, abort mission!
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Comments (92)
michaelm1290 23
Wait a minute, this isn't where I left my watch
HarleyQuinn1996 8
You may have left your watch in another comment thread, I'll help you look.
_purepxrcelain_ 6
"i forgot to mention, i have a child with him too and he's part of a gang"
worldclassrager 41
Technically she is cheating on him with you...
limabeans101029 21
Good observation!
expertsmilee 26
@17 - Found the smart one!
pinkchocoa 15
Thank you captain obvious
tony1891 22
but the question is did you stop?
Futacy 30
Considering he "almost got lucky," it's pretty ******* clear that he stopped.
soulstrike23 6
What a grade A bitch
HarleyQuinn1996 8
At least she decided to stop, I know some girls that would wait until the main event before deciding to stop, sometimes not even then.
calliet145 14
The grammar, or lack thereof, in this post makes me want to repeatedly bash my head against a brick wall. However, I'd also settle for throwing a grammar book at the OP.
ostfaiz 18
the point is 'u got it'..lol
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I was wondering if anyone else was thinking the same thing... This was the first FML I saw this morning and it makes me want to cry... Lol.
RudderV 10
Damn horrible feeling
fffianist 9
Is your course related to punctuation? Because you're using it on a whole other level.
Futacy 30
What's up with the random capitalization of "We" after a comma? Either make it a new sentence or make it lower case with a semi-colon.